


The Reluctant Rokudaime

by Count_Sagula



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Hokage Uzumaki Naruto, Humor, Naruto does not want this job, Naruto is most definitely taking it out on other people, Rokudaime Uzumaki Naruto, Undue Seriousness, poor Iruka, poor kakashi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2019-04-24 19:59:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 25,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14362539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Count_Sagula/pseuds/Count_Sagula
Summary: In one universe, Uzumaki Naruto would have taken after his father and worked towards becoming the Hokage. In this one, that was not the case. Unfortunately, in the wake of Pain's attack on Konoha, Naruto is saddled with a job he does not want. Still, he'll do his duty, at least until he can pawn off this horrible job. Until then, he'll play his part as The Reluctant Rokudaime.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters. Copyrights go to Viz Media and Kishimoto, et cetera, et cetera.

Whispers.

They were the first indicator that something was up. Naruto should have known, he should have listened, but he didn't. The situation had changed after Pain's assault on Konoha. Naruto had received a hero's welcome. Cheers, celebrations, exuberance. Children had run up to him in the street with parents smiling proudly and adoringly at them and him, so much so that Naruto just couldn't help but lower his guard and be swept up in the attention.

His people had finally acknowledged him, treated him as the hero the Sandaime had told him he was and were seeing him for the proud Uzumaki shinobi he was, instead of the so-called monster their grief led them to believe him to be. In the light and radiance of positivity that Konoha poured onto him, he ignored the odd whispers in the shadows. After all, they had always been there.

Ever since he had been a child, the villagers always whispered about him. No matter the time of day, whether it was midafternoon or the crack of dawn, men and women always seemed to glare and speak in hushed tones wherever he went. Naruto had learned to ignore them, brush away the negativity laced within the haunting words that reached his ears. If he paid attention to all of them growing up, he might have ended up like Gaara had, or worse, Sasuke; better to be an insane murderer than an emo prick in Naruto's opinion.

Of course, Naruto should have noted the oddness of the whispers. With the recent defeat of Pain and the sheer adulation the villagers felt towards Naruto, the quiet conversations were wrong. The entire village was swept with utter confidence and adoration towards Naruto and not even his most profound naysayers were unaffected. Not only did he defeat an enemy that could resurrect his minions, one that laid waste to nearly the entirety of their home, but he had, albeit indirectly, resurrected thousands upon thousands of deceased victims. No one could deny his existence or begrudge after such a feat.

Not even the Yondaime's defeat of the Kyūbi could measure up to his son's achievement!

In the wake of his actions, the whispers of the townsfolk, many of whom had ran up to him to express their gratitude whilst he sifted through the wreckage, were out of place. The numerous jōnin that gazed at him sharply, assessing him, instead of the typical wariness or exasperated fondness that so many had recently displayed, should have triggered alarms inside of his head.

It was only when a widely known career genin, who really should have been promoted to jōnin by now, had come up to him and patted him on the shoulder approvingly did he begin to suspect something. The man's accompanying words definitely served to raise his guard.

"If I had a vote, you'd have mine, kid."

The blonde stopped at those words and watched him as he passed by. The words would be meaningless if anyone else had spoken them, even if it came from a Clan Head, but it was different when that particular man spoke them.

Maruboshi Kosuke, despite his old age, was a career genin. It wasn't too odd to see a man of his age stay at such a low rank, but Kosuke was different than the others. He had skill, wisdom, knowledge, and experience in such surplus that there were jōnin that occasionally deferred to him, genin or not. The man had turned down numerous promotions, ranging from chūnin all the way up to Hokage, even if the latter was partly in jest; the Sandaime would do anything to be free of that pesky paperwork.

With a comment coming from such an esteemed man, one that ranked unofficially with the Sandaime's teammates, the orange wearing teen felt the need to investigate.

He followed the man to a ramen stand, Ichiraku's, coincidentally. Of course, when the man patted the seat beside him with a casual glance over his shoulder in the blonde's direction, it didn't seem quite so coincidental. With a sheepish grin on his face and a nervous scratch of his cheek, Naruto took the seat.

"So, what did ya mean about the vote?" Naruto blurted out, unable to hold in his curiosity. While the man had always been kind to him, even telling him some awesome stories of shinobi over a bowl of ramen in his Academy days, he had never seemed so proud of him as Sandaime-jiji after he had graduated.

"Hmm, you say something?" the man said with a cheeky smile.

Naruto's eye twitched a little at the response. The old man just had to emulate his one-eyed sensei. It was a growing trend among the Konoha population to annoy the blonde by acting like his infuriating jōnin sensei. They learned very quickly not to do so to his pink-haired teammate; her temper was almost as notorious as her shishō's and no one was going to risk stoking it.

"Maru-jiji," Naruto groaned, earning a chuckle from the man beside him.

"As a fellow genin, I had to try it at least once. An old man has to at least try his hand at a trend so…hip and cool as that," Kosuke said with a grin, enjoying the blonde's dismay.

"Jiji, come on! What's with the vote thing? Did I get a promotion or something?" Naruto inquired, fidgeting in excitement at the thought. The prospect of ranking up was something he definitely desired, even if it was just to chūnin. All his friends were technically his superiors and they liked to tease him about it mercilessly, especially in the beginning. That reminded him of how he still needed to get back at his teammate as she was the worst; Sakura enjoyed it far too much and he needed to bring her back down before her ego got too large.

"Something like that," the older genin replied, waving loftily to appear mysterious while covering his amusement of holding something over the young man's head.

It wasn't often that one could truly peak Naruto's interest, especially with a piece of unknown knowledge. Naruto had learned early on that information was vital and always seemed to know things that he shouldn't, a fact that served to frustrate both Kosuke and the deceased Sandaime. The numerous heart-attacks the brat had almost induced for both men over some of the tidbits that he had let out was rather alarming. Teuchi was still always annoyed whenever he saw an Anbu mask, no doubt a reminder of the disruptions to his business from years past, but that was a story for another day.

Naruto was suspicious and wanted to say more, but Ayame-neechan had brought out his order of miso ramen with extra pork. Ramen would always hold priority in his heart, unless a time-sensitive mission came up that needed his attention. Not even Kakashi would dare to be late to something that could endanger lives and the jinchūriki had applied a circumstance to his beloved ramen. By the time he was done with his order, which consisted of three bowls with extra vegetables, something that his Baa-chan had bribed the Ichiraku family to always add to his meals, the famed Eternal Genin had disappeared.

After a moment of swiftly searching his surroundings, something that totally didn't make him look like an idiot, no matter what Sakura-chan said, he resigned himself to not knowing and shrugged it off.

Besides, there was work to be done. He had only followed the elderly genin because he was on a break from helping search the ruins, so he brushed away his curiosity and went back to his day.

III

It was when he had been helping a family of three, a mother and her two children, search their home that he had been let in on the gossip that the townsfolk, particularly the jōnin, had seemed so interested in when an Anbu operative dropped down. The kunoichi's sudden appearance next to a civilian family caused them to jump in shock and Naruto to whirl around at their gasps with his right hand by his kunai holster.

"Naruto-san," the cloaked woman spoke, her mask the visage of a sparrow. "Your presence has been requested for an urgent matter."

After a moment of wary searching, he shifted his attention to the family. He walked over to them, a quick glance to the mother was enough for him to know that she understood the suddenness of his departure, but her children were not as understanding.

"Kimo-chan, Hiro-kun," Naruto said, kneeling down to get their attention when they pouted a little in confusion at the sudden arrival of Sparrow. "I have to go now, super-secret shinobi stuff." His grin and conspiratorial whisper earned a giggle from the six-year-old girl and a shy smile from the four-year-old boy, who tried to hide it behind the stuffed animals in his hand, both of whom were different colored toads. "But, don't worry, I'll still be here to help you search for Sir Scratch-a-lot and your stuff before the night ends. I did promise, didn't I? And Uzumaki Naruto doesn't break his promises!"

The blonde had jumped up with both of them in each arm and spun around boisterously, earning joyful laughter from them. The mother had looked on with an amused smile, though Naruto was able to detect the hint of sadness and regret directed towards him. He put them down soon after and went straight back to their home and continuing his previous search.

The mother's brows furrowed at the seeming dismissal of the Anbu and turned to look at the woman, only to find the kunoichi had disappeared. The blonde caught her eye when she turned back in confusion at his presence and sent a wink her way. Naruto turned back around after that and encouraged the children to help search, stating that because he was only a clone, and much more fragile, they would be his temporary teammates/helpers, an opportunity the children jumped at; everyone wanted to help the brave and powerful hero that saved their village.

A distance away, the same blonde and the Anbu Sparrow were leaping across rooftops, or whatever high point they could find in the village ruins.

Sparrow studied the whiskered teenager as the duo made for their destination. While the woman may have been confused by the blonde's disregard for the Anbu, along with her disappearance despite her request, she was not. The kunoichi had caught onto Naruto's trick, a quick Shadow Clone formation with an accompanying Substitution technique.

Despite the simplicity, she was impressed. Or, perhaps it was because of its simplicity that she was so impressed. Not many could form a Shadow Clone so quickly, without seals nonetheless, and replace themselves with it.

Similar strategies were employed by numerous shinobi in combat, but they usually involved a distraction as a precursor for both the formation of a clone and the subsequent replacement. To be able to do both without some sort of obscuring opportunity so quickly, not to mention without smoke, was extremely difficult. Very few could do such a thing, with only Uchiha Itachi being able to do so as effectively as Naruto was able to.

That wasn't the only reason Sparrow was so keenly analyzing the youth with astoundingly unruly hair, nor was it the only thing she noticed about him.

When he had spun around at her sudden appearance, his hand had hovered over the kunai holster strapped to his right thigh. With his wary gaze and twitching fingers that occasionally flicked over the ring of the kunai jutting out, he appeared to reach for his weapon at a moment's notice. It made it appear to the enemy that he was unarmed and would need a second to retrieve the blade before he could use it. An enemy could take the misinformation and underestimate him, believing themselves to have a slight advantage over the blonde.

Of course, it was all a trick, a clever deception. Her Byakugan allowed her to see the hidden kunai that he had tucked within his other arm's sleeve, ready for use without the small fraction of time one would need to draw the visibly holstered blade. It would have worked on an opponent without the dōjutsu, but not her.

"I don't recall you being able to Substitute with a clone that was created at a distance so seamlessly," Sparrow stated as she pulled up beside him.

Naruto was able to pick up the implicit question in her words.

"I didn't only train in senjutsu in Mt. Myōboku," Naruto replied, continuing when he saw her turn to look at him. "There were daily restrictions on how long I could train in senjutsu; newbies can accidentally end up like toad statues, like that one body of Nagato's, so Fukasaku-sensei had me work on my other abilities while also teaching me Frog Kumite, or as he called it, Toad Sage Fist."

His expression soured a moment after, but he smiled at her for noticing his improvement.

The Anbu collectively didn't care about many things outside their mission directives, but Naruto was one that most, if not all, cared about to some degree. They had a fondness for the youth, stemming from his always having a guard detail from the day of the Kyūbi attack. Every operative had, at one point in their career, been tasked to guarding and watching over him, making sure that any who bore animosity towards the child was kept contained to themselves. Whether it was something as simple as overcharging him or denying him service at any establishment or as extreme as assaulting him or trying to kill him, they made sure to protect Naruto as much as they were able to.

While the Sandaime did his best for the boy, it was the Anbu that looked after him every day. He was as much their child as the Sandaime's.

From the assignments to watch over him in the orphanage, ensuring that no one dared to outright abuse him, to laughing at the various chūnin and jōnin that were sent to chase after him in his pranks. Hell, they were even present during the mission in Wave, one of the main reasons that Kakashi, a former Anbu Captain who had been aware of their constant presence, had even entertained the possibility of continuing that C-rank turned S-rank.

As such, they were informal with him, relatively speaking. They did little things for him that they could get away with, like mentioning his progress, when they could. They had all seen him grow from being a lonely and neglected orphan to the powerful shinobi that he had become.

It was also why they were so tolerant of his antics, such as twirling around the kids and replacing himself with a Shadow Clone. Though, that was rather heartwarming, if Sparrow was honest with herself, especially as she had already made note of the numerous Shadow Clones he still had running around the village, helping whoever they could to recover from the attack.

The fact that no one had died, at least not permanently, because of Naruto's actions made them proud of the blonde, proving many right to have placed their faith in him as they were wont to do.

It was also for that reason that she had a devious smirk behind her mask when they arrived at their location. As much as the Anbu forces loved the blonde, they still held a grudge for all the pranks the brat had set off in the Anbu Headquarters when he had once found it.

 _Oh, this is going to be so much fun,_ Sparrow thought to herself.

III

As Naruto approached the closed doors of their destination, he shuddered a little. The slightly creepy aura that the kunoichi leading him made him slow his pace, just to set a little distance between the two. Hopefully she wasn't one of those women that were still mad at him because of his perverted techniques.

Those two techniques were effective, and he just didn't understand why they were so angry. Couldn't they see how well they worked? He was even working on a female-oriented version, one that was horrifying to practice but was sure to be effective.

Noticing Sparrow setting herself on the outside of the door, he shoved away those thoughts and prepared himself. He didn't know what he was needed for and he couldn't allow himself to appear weak in such a time. It was with that thought that he opened the doors and walked through.

Upon entering the room, he noticed that he had the room's immediate attention. It was filled with important adults, all either of jōnin rank or some sort of nobility, aside from three elders. Two of them were Sandaime-jiji's teammates, Homura and Ko-something, he never could remember her name.

The third elder was someone he had never seen before, a man with bandages swathed around one of his eyes and arms, a crossed scar on his chin. He wore a stern expression as he leaned on his cane, one that made the other occupants shy away from him, but he matched the description of a man Sandaime-jiji had warned him away from, Shimura Danzō.

Sweeping his eyes around, he spotted two others that he recognized. The first stood out quite obviously to him, what with his spiky white hair and the nonchalant singular eye with his headband covering his sharingan. Despite what seemed to be a serious meeting, his sensei still had his precious Icha Icha out, though his eye flickered up to him with something that seemed to be a mix of amusement and a hint of regret and fear before he returned his attention to his book.

The second man was the Jōnin Commander, Nara Shikaku, though Naruto never saw the man in his official capacity, only aware of him as Shikamaru's father. The Nara seemed to be annoyed, a subtle glare sent towards Danzō, but his eyes held a strangely calculating look when he noticed the blonde. There even seemed to be a bit of hope concealed within the man's eyes, though his expression remained mostly blank.

"Uzumaki Naruto, Genin of Konoha, yes?" a voice asked from Naruto's left.

The voice belonged to a man of nobility, based on his dress and stature. He sat at the head of the table and had an intricate fan he used to cover his face. His expression was slack, looking quite bored, and the casual tone of the man's voice seemed to back up the man's image. The dull look in the man's eyes seemed to coincide with the uninterested impression he gave off, but Naruto wasn't fooled. He could spot the slight sharpness of interest within, one that set him on edge.

"Hai," he replied with a nod, eyes glancing at the Hokage's advisors. They mouthed the word 'daimyō', something he gratefully received before he looked back at the man. "Daimyō-sama."

The man hummed pleasantly as he raked over the jinchūriki's appearance slowly, the man's eyes assessing him, judging him; for what, Naruto had no clue, but the man's face was inscrutable and bland, providing him no help in discovering what it was he sought.

"Um, Daimyō-sama," Naruto said hesitantly, eyeing the people in the room peripherally for any indication to help him. The man lightly fanning himself hummed for him to continue when he paused, though his eyes kept scanning him. "Why exactly am I here? I was pulled away from helping our home's citizens to recover what they could from the wreckage only because the Anbu said I was needed for an urgent matter."

The Daimyō quirked an eyebrow and haughtily said, "Is not answering your Daimyō's request an urgent matter?"

Naruto took a moment to look at the man incredulously, ignoring the slightly pinched expressions of the Sandaime's teammates. "Konoha was attacked, most of it was leveled by an S-rank terrorist; I think helping the citizens of Konoha recover from this horrific attack is more important than meeting some stuffy noble, Daimyō or not."

He knew that responding like this was rather rude, not to mention disrespectful, and it would most likely get him into trouble, but Naruto was not going to bow to a man's overinflated ego. He had to deal with enough of people with similar attitudes, but quite a few of those people were shinobi with some measure of power and skill, unlike this man. He felt no compunctions ignoring the warning looks of the two elders that tried to silently advise him otherwise.

The Daimyō narrowed his eyes for a moment before he snapped his fan shut and laid it on the table before him, threading his fingers together as he leaned forward and hid his mouth behind the steeple his hands formed. "I see."

He paused for a moment, eyes finally returning to Naruto's face, observing him intensely. "The reason I asked you here was because I am receiving some conflicting reports. As such, I have called you here so that I could hear the truth of this matter from the man responsible for defeating the one who laid waste to this village."

Naruto blinked at that. All the man wanted was his report? The thought didn't seem to make much sense to him, though he supposed that considering the current Hokage was indisposed, the only one with real power over the entire village at this point was the Daimyō, who allowed Konoha to exist in Hi no Kuni, and bestowed the Hokage the authority over the village.

Still, he was a tad uncertain and the nearly unnoticeable nod he received from Shikamaru's dad in his peripheral vision eased him; he wasn't sure if the Daimyō had the proper security clearance to hear the details of everything that went down but Shikaku's nod gave him permission to speak freely.

So, he did. He started from when Fukasaku noticed that the messenger toad left behind in Konoha had died, signaling something was wrong in Konoha, and went on from there. It was better, he'd learned since the first missions taking D-ranks, that reports should include only the facts that he was aware of, no information that he did not know for certain that was acquired secondhand, unless it affected his performance in the mission.

Sandaime-jiji had not been impressed by his inaccurate descriptions of Sasuke's participation during one particularly bad Tora retrieval mission.

Throughout his tale, the listeners were stunned by his actions, though the shinobi in the room kept their expressions as blank as they could. Naruto wasn't exactly sure why they seemed so surprised, and proud in Kakashi-sensei's and Shikaku's case. Their view of him seemed to rise quite a bit, which he couldn't help but be feel uneasy about.

Eventually, he arrived at the part where he headed off towards Nagato's real body, and how he listened to Nagato's life story.

"Let me get this straight," one of the Daimyō's men, he had to be as Naruto didn't recognize him from the village and seemed to self-important, interrupted him, his voice incredulous, "you were in this, this Sage Mode, your empowered state that you could only maintain for a short period of time, but instead of attacking and finishing off your enemy, you listened to this terrorist's life story?!"

While the man was shocked and unbelieving, no doubt thinking his actions were idiotic, Naruto was unrepentant. The numerous people who seemed to share the man's opinion of him, including some of the shinobi in the room, especially the man swathed in bandages did little to deter him when he addressed them, though he did see the odd look that fell over the Daimyō's face.

"Let me guess, you think I'm an idiot for doing nothing when I was so close to him? You think I should have just finished him off?" Naruto asked, though it came out as more of a statement, in the direction of the man, though he looked around the room so that the others knew he was speaking to the whole room, not just the incredulous man.

While the Daimyō's man nodded, it was the bandaged man that spoke, his voice grave and oddly hypnotic. "That is exactly what you should have done. It is the shinobi way to end an enemy as soon as possible; to not do so would give them the opportunity to attack you once more."

Naruto was not impressed. "You're Danzō, right?"

The man's lone eye narrowed slightly before he nodded.

"Right, you know, there are parts of Nagato's story that I cut out," Naruto said pleasantly, eyes staring at Danzō. The man didn't react in the slightest, though Naruto supposed he wouldn't, what with being the man that brainwashed Sai to eliminate emotions and all.

"Why would you do that?" one of the Daimyō's men asked, bewildered. Homura's expression spoke of disappointment, one that his teammate, Koharu, he now remembered, mirrored, while Shikaku just stared at him with narrowed eyes.

"Well, it would be unbecoming to take a terrorist's accusations of one Danzō Shimura seriously," Naruto said casually, his eyes squinting while his grin stretched wide enough to almost split his face. "I mean, it's not like the man ever had an unauthorized group of shinobi comprised of kidnapped orphans, some even from Konoha's shinobi clans, all brainwashed and loyal to him with a curse seal on their tongues that stopped them from implicating him in any crimes, one of which caused Nagato to switch his group's stance of peace through defeating opponents and understanding one another rather than mercilessly slaughtering them with extreme prejudice due to some paranoid fear that all treaties, alliances, and friendship are merely lies and not to be trusted."

Naruto could practically feel the discomfort of the room, no doubt many looking at Danzō oddly in this new light. After a brief pause, Naruto opened his eyes, his grin falling away as he gathered his expression to be as serious as possible as he stared at Danzō.

"This shinobi way that you speak of is a mindset of a time long past," he said, watching Danzō closely, unmindful of the others in the room. "You think that peace can be attained by oppressing others? That the bonds of friendship are worthless, that only slaughtering your enemies is how you stave off the enemy?"

"Well, you'd be right," Naruto said, pausing to take in the room's shock. The room's occupants certainly didn't expect him to agree with such an idea, so much so that even his sensei had looked up from his book to level a shocked and confused look at him. Though, he could see that Danzō's only reaction was the narrowing of his lone eye, suspicious of his agreement.

"While I attended the Shinobi Academy in a time of peace, there was a saying one of our teachers once said," Naruto continued. "'The only good enemy is a dead one.' The man wasn't wrong. An enemy can't hurt you if their dead, can't invade you or come at you for revenge later on. But the thing is, what are you going to do about his family, his friends?"

The room remained silent despite his posed question.

"Every enemy, shinobi or otherwise, has a family, a mother and a father, sisters, brothers, maybe even kids of their own, not to mention their friends. They're going to feel the void of the enemy's death, and it will undoubtedly turn to hatred, so what are you going to do when they come for vengeance? Kill them also?" Naruto asked, turning his gaze around the room so to direct the question all that were present. "How many bodies will you leave in your goal to suppress your enemies? How much blood will you spill?"

"Did you know that my father was the Yondaime Hokage?" Naruto said after a pause, smiling at the surprise of those in the room, whether it was surprise of finding out that bit of information or surprise that he knew it was irrelevant. "I didn't know, not definitively, until I encountered him in the seal. He left behind a bit of his chakra as a failsafe in case the seal failed for whatever reason. I have wanted to know all my life who my parents were, what happened to them, whether they loved me or not, but all Sandaime-jiji ever told me was that they died in the Kyūbi Attack on the day that I was born."

"The Yondaime slaughtered an army of Iwa-nin, sacrificed his soul to the Shinigami in an effort to seal away the Kyūbi into me, leaving me an orphan to possibly never know where I came from because those who knew parents' identities were afraid that I would be killed in revenge for those who hated my father," Naruto said, closing his eyes for a moment.

"Tell me, Danzō, how has your method worked so far? How has having a hand in Yahiko's death, Nagato's friend and brother in arms, the reason he chose to use his considerable might to crush Konoha under his heel, worked so far? How has making Kabuto, Orochimaru's most loyal shinobi and formerly one of your most talented shinobi, kill his own mother worked for you?" Naruto said, eyes open as he stared at Danzō. "Oh, I haven't forgotten about that little tidbit. Jiraiya-sensei had been sure to tell me exactly how that man had gone unnoticed for so long, as he had been trained by you."

The room was silent as Naruto waited for a response from Danzō, who remained silent as well.

"Yes, Danzō, your shinobi way is sure to protect Konoha, but it will always contribute to the chain of hatred that such bloodshed will leave behind. So, I chose another path, one far more difficult, one that you were much too weak to tread upon, after all, taking an enemy alive is always easier than killing one, something the Academy was sure to highlight," Naruto said with a sigh. "It wasn't easy, the man had killed my sensei, my godfather, and I wanted revenge. I had to fight my own hatred towards the man, but the thought of becoming just like him, the knowledge that Ero-sennin wouldn't have approved of me killing him despite all that he's done and wouldn't want me to continue to spread hatred in the world, helped. In the end, it was my conviction to do just that, to vow to end this chain of hatred that covers this bloody world of ours, was what led to Nagato remembering his and Yahiko's original goal and sacrificing himself to bring back the lives he took during his assault on Konoha as his final act to redeem himself."

"Tell me, Danzō, if I had killed Nagato, how many of Konoha's people would still be dead?" Naruto said. "You seem to have forgotten that it was because the Uchiha and the Senju had put aside their differences that Konoha was formed. It was because of Uchiha Madara's friendship with Senju Hashirama that this village was formed. It was because of the Nidaime's killing of Madara's brother that led to the man that was able to fight as our Shodaime's equal, who was in a league of his own, that he defected and tried to kill the Shodaime. It was paranoia and fear of the Elemental Nations that led to the destruction of Uzushiogakure in the Second Shinobi War, Konoha's closest ally and who assisted in helping found our own village. It was because I refused to kill the current Godaime Kazekage that instead of war with Suna, we reaffirmed our alliance and have become closer than we had been before the joint invasion between Suna and Oto."

"You may preach what you want, but the truth is, you are too set in your ways to acknowledge that the things you have done in Konoha's name would have disgusted your sensei, the Nidaime," Naruto said, crossing his arms before he delivered his last lines, ignoring the glare that Danzō was sending his way. "You can take the easy way out if you want, but I refuse. I swore to fulfill my sensei's dream, a world where we can all understand each other and choose peace over meaningless bloodshed, and I'm not going to let a fossil like you ruin that all because you were too stubborn to listen to reason and let go of your own pride."

The room descended into silence after that. Danzō still glared at him, but the others were slowly coming out of their shock and looking at him in a different light. Some clearly believed he was naïve, others seemed to approve, and a few were caught in between, such as Homura and Koharu, who were struggling to come between the two.

Naruto reassured himself that his speech was worthwhile as Kakashi-sensei looked at him with pride shining in his eye. He chose to focus on that, soaking it in so that his conviction remained strong in the face of his superiors in the room he just told off announcing Jiraiya's dream.

The silence was broken by the Daimyō, who started to chuckle. His laughter grew in volume until the room was filled by it, causing a few of his people to throw in a few nervous chuckles of their own, though the confusion on their faces clearly spoke of their reticence of the act.

Eventually, the laughter died down, and the Daimyō looked up at Naruto, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "It has been sometime since I have encountered someone as virtuous as you, young man."

"Uh, thanks?" Naruto replied uneasily, unsure of how to take the man's words. The ruler didn't seem to be mocking him, but that didn't mean he didn't think poorly of Naruto for his views. "That's a good thing, right?"

"Good, very good," the Daimyō affirmed with an easy smile. "Well, I've made my decision. By my authority as the Daimyō of Hi no Kuni, I select you, Uzumaki Naruto, as the Rokudaime Hokage. I expect you to lead this village well, Naruto-kun. Well wishes on your villages recovery. Know that you have my support in whatever you need to restore Konohagakure no Sato, you need only request it and we will work so provide a solution."

With that, the Daimyō stood up and sauntered out of the room, only pausing to pat the dazed blonde's shoulder, a mischievous smile on his face, before continuing on his way.

When the blonde had finally processed the Daimyō's words, he came to with a jolt and turned his head around frantically. "Wait, what?!"

Noticing the man had already departed, he turned to those still in the room. He noticed that Danzō had disappeared as well, but the advisors were still present, along with the Jōnin Commander and his sensei.

"What did he mean? I can't be Hokage, Tsunade is still alive!" Naruto said frantically to the advisors.

"She is currently indisposed and unable to lead," Homura began.

"Thus, you were chosen to lead the village in her stead," Koharu finished.

"But, but, I'm too young! What about Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto said, stuttering a bit before he pointed towards his sensei, who seemed to be in the middle of trying to leave the room before his student had brought the attention back to him. "He's stronger and smarter than me! So is Yamato-taicho!"

"Actually, you are the strongest shinobi in the village. Remember, I died against Pain while you were able to defeat him," Kakashi said to his student, still not meeting his eye as he focused on his book.

"You're still smarter than me! A Hokage has to be smart and wise, like Jiji was and Baa-chan is!" Naruto said, his voice a little hysteric.

"Well, you were the one that taught Tsunade-sama to believe in the Will of Fire again. Plus, you gave a very compelling speech. If that isn't Hokage material, I'm not quite sure what is," Kakashi said, blithely ignoring his student's rather intense stare.

When Naruto opened his mouth to speak again, he was interrupted by the other remaining occupant of the room.

"You know, I would've expected you to be more…happy about this. Weren't you the one who always boasted about becoming Hokage one day?" Shikaku said, eyes narrowing slightly.

Naruto fidgeted a little at the inquisitive and sharp look the Nara sent him. It reminded him exactly why the man was the Jōnin Commander, despite the lackadaisical similarities he shared with his son.

"It's almost like," the Jōnin Commander spoke again, his stare sharpening as he continued, "you don't want to be Hokage. But that's ridiculous, right?"

The teenager could only meet the man's eyes for a brief moment before he tore them away. Instead, he chose to glare at his sensei. The man may seem like he was unaffected, but Naruto could see the slight sweat forming on his forehead, just below his hairline. The more intensely he glared, the sooner the man would crack; it was inevitable, he just needed to keep up his glare and the jōnin would fall apart.

Unfortunately, before that could happen, the advisors coughed to gain his attention. After a few coughs, the first few he was studiously ignoring, the blonde very reluctantly tore his gaze away and focused on the two elders. They spoke once they had his attention, however little of it they had as they could see him wanting to turn back to glare at the white-haired man.

"You are the Hokage, whether you like it or not, it was the original purpose of the meeting before you arrived," Homura said, earning an odd noise from the whiskered shinobi.

"Numerous candidates were already discussed before that. It was a tie between Danzō, who had already spoke his piece before you arrived, and you, who the Daimyō requested to see in order to get a measure of your character. You were chosen, as such, you may now begin your work, which there is much of in the wake of the attack," Koharu cut in.

"The Hokage Tower has been repaired and the necessary paperwork is being sent to the Hokage's Office," Homura picked up.

"Your office," Koharu interjected, a stern look on her face as she narrowed her eyes at Naruto, ignoring the constipated expression on his face.

"Run along, Hokage-sama. The village won't fix itself," the bespectacled man finished.

Naruto couldn't stop his face from twisting, a sour expression firmly set.

III

Naruto's sour expression remained as he had robotically left the room. The expression never wavered as he approached the Hokage Tower, not even when others greeted him on his way. He just ignored them, the expression seemingly stuck on his face as he made his way through the ruins of the village.

His village, quite literally now. The thought only twisted his face further, his cheeks and eyelids occasionally twitching, earning bemused and concerned looks from those around him.

When he reached the office doors, there were two chūnin guarding the entryway, both of whom raised their hands to stop him.

"Sorry, Naruto-san, only the Hokage and her assistants can enter," one of them said.

The blonde paused at that. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, his face slowly returning to a more neutral expression. When he finally opened his eyes to address the two, he wore a strained, and rather twitchy, grin.

"I'm the Hokage," Naruto replied, his voice cracking in a way that hadn't since he gotten through the beginning stages of puberty.

The chūnin looked at him doubtfully, along with a hint of concern at the odd expression and off voice. Noting their reaction, an Anbu appeared behind him affirmatively. After a moment of disbelief and two pats on the shoulder in congratulation, they opened the door and left.

When the blonde didn't seem to enter even a minute after the chūnin left, the Anbu shoved the young man into the room.

Naruto stumbled a little but when he righted himself, he turned back and sent a nasty glare behind him. Sparrow's only response was the shaking of her shoulders before disappearing into the shadows.

He huffed and turned around, walking around the desk.

Despite her disappearance, Naruto could still sense her, along with the other three operatives in the room. They may be great at stealth, but they had nothing on the prankster, especially after the hellish training he had on Mt. Myōboku. Despite not being in Sage Mode, he was still able to boost his normal sensory skills far beyond he could before.

The desk was covered in piles of paperwork. Each pile had a distinct purpose, with one containing mission reports, others building permits and documents for repairs, and on and on it went.

Naruto knew the system well enough to recognize the purpose of each pile and sheet of paper. As soon as he sat down in the chair, he remorsefully grabbed a sheet of paper closest to him and began the grind. Better to get it done now than to do it later. He pretended to not notice the snickers he heard around him as tears leaked from his eyes, continuing to slowly work his way through the stacks of paper. The Anbu were always kind to him and there was no way that they would get some sick pleasure out of the situation. He would continue to believe that for his sanity's sake.

It was an hour later, when he had mechanically worked his way through a quarter of a pile, when the doors of the office opened. He glanced up, hope shining in his eyes for a distraction, only to be let down when the secretary, a shy green-haired young woman in a purple dress that he'd spoken to a few times, walked in. Accompanying her were the two chūnin who stood guard, both of whom were carrying a stack of paperwork.

The sight made his lower lip quiver a little while fresh tears formed, threatening to spill from his eyes. The secretary noticed his expression and sent him an apologetic look before she scurried out of the office, chūnin in tow.

Gazing at the two new piles on the desk with a blank look, Naruto couldn't help but curse in his head.

Despite his proclamations, he had no desire for the job. It was just something he said to bolster his confidence and earn some amusement out of the others. Seriously, the job was hell, he'd seen enough of his Jiji's workload as a child to swear off the position.

He'd been lucky enough to dodge the bullet once when his Jiji died. The old bastard had written in his will that he wanted Naruto to be his successor, something that nearly caused the blonde to have a coronary.

Luckily, the whiskered teenager knew where his Jiji had kept the more…exotic blends that liked to smoke. The advisors were reluctant to believe that their teammate would make such a mistake because he was high, but the combination of his age and reputation, along with the suggestion that one of the Sannin would be a better fit, helped them along.

Unfortunately, his luck hadn't granted him another escape from the position.

Even in the face of his fate, Naruto was not one to let things go so easily. He knew that a vote would be held among the Jōnin soon enough, in two months if he remembered correctly. He would wager on that to get him ousted from the seat.

With a quick flick of his hands, seven clouds of smoke burst in the room. When the smoke cleared, all the newly created clones looked at their seated creator with a grim expression. They all nodded and set in motion.

Four of them brought up seats to the desk and started to separate and organize the piles of paperwork. When they familiarized themselves with their tasks, they got to work on completing their share.

The other three were going through the bookshelves in the room, combing for law books and other village-specific manuals. Their job was twofold, learning the inner workings of the village and how it is run so that Naruto can actually do the job of the Hokage properly, as all that he had gleamed from the numerous meetings with the Sandaime on how to run the village was rusty, and to find a legal loophole to escape the hat.

While the clones worked, Naruto rested back in his chair, lightly massaging his temples to stave off the headache and alleviate the strain on his mind. It was a much-needed break, as dealing with the paperwork was truly a hellish experience for someone such as himself. He had never been good at sitting still, except meditation for senjutsu as he recently learned, and coupled with having to something so monotonous as paperwork, as part of a job he didn't want, was rather taxing.

Of course, he wasn't one to sit idly without doing something. He was forming a plan to get back at those who cast the position on him. The first would have to be Kakashi.

His bastard of a sensei was in the room when they were sifting through the Rokudaime nominations. The responsible thing for the white-haired jōnin would have been to acknowledge his student's defeat of Akatsuki's leader but make note of his student's brash personality and inexperience; it would have been enough to eliminate the possibility of him receiving the hat, while possibly even earning him a field promotion.

But the bastard didn't do that!

No, instead, the one-eyed asshole had supported the nomination! It was quite obvious he had as the man couldn't even meet Naruto's eye. If he had tried and failed, the man would have looked apologetic and said as much, but the shame of not doing so was evident by his inability to look his sensei's son in the eyes.

The bastard even had the gall to argue Naruto's assertions! His inexperience, his personality, his strength, and his intelligence were valid arguments against his nomination, but Kakashi-sensei had dismissed them casually, as if they weren't as glaringly obvious!

As the newly-instated stewed in his anger against his sensei, the Anbu worked hard to suppress their laughter at the sight. All those in Anbu knew that Naruto had no desire to be Hokage. His declarations attesting against that fact were part of a running campaign stemming from a tradition that the Sandaime had accidentally leaked to the child.

If one were to trace the traits of the Hokages and the Hokage candidates through history, they would all show a rather glaring, but well-hidden, fact: none of the Hokage truly wanted to be Hokage.

The Shodaime had no desire in running the village, as he was looking forward to spending time relaxing with his wife, Mito. He had been so disinclined to the position that he had put it to a village vote, including both the civilians and the shinobi, absolutely sure that the Uchiha Clan and their allies would select Madara. When he had won, he had been dismayed, reluctantly taking the position only when his wife had been displeased because of his desperation to avoid the job.

The Nidaime, surprising considering how different the two were, felt the same way as his brother. He did not want to lead the village. He was content to help his moronic brother whenever possible while he raised a team of shinobi and taught them all he knew. He had considered teaching at the Academy but had deemed that it was too low-level, considering the advanced knowledge and experience his specialties required. It was only when his brother had died on the job and noted him as his successor that he had taken the position. The fact that he chose a young chūnin before willingly sacrificing himself to the Kinkaku Force when he could have just used Hiraishin to get the hell away only served to exemplify his disdain for the job.

The Sandaime did not want to lead the village either, evident with the number of times he had tried to retire, not to mention loud protests when the Nidaime selected him as his successor. Not only did he try to get Hatake Sakumo to take the job, he had constantly pestered Jiraiya and Tsunade for the position. He was actually quite close to nominating Tsunade's ex, Kaito Dan, only for the man to die shortly afterwards.

He had gotten lucky when Minato accepted the position, though he had to wait until the end of the Third Shinobi War as Minato was quite insistent on that before he took up his duties as the Yondaime.

Of course, he had to take the hat again when the Yondaime had died, which led to him trying to get numerous shinobi to take the position, including Uchiha Itachi, Uchiha Shisui, Hatake Kakashi, Maito Gai, and even his students, but they had all declined.

He proved himself to be a rather crafty old man when he had subtly taught Naruto the basics of how to do his job, going so far as to write him in as a successor and using the Dead Demon Consuming Seal to take seal away the Edo Tensei Shodaime and Nidaime when the Nidaime had left clear instructions on how to reverse the technique. Naruto assumed the Sandaime wanted to lock himself away in the Shinigami's stomach so as to ensure he couldn't be brought back by Edo Tensei in the slim chance that someone was desperate enough to do so and make him take up the position. It was an unlikely scenario, but Naruto could understand the man's paranoia.

The Godaime obviously felt no desire to take the position, only doing so because Naruto had worked his magic on her. She had even stated to her advisors that she was just a stand-in until Naruto could take the seat. Naruto felt a little bad at deceiving her, but better her than him.

The only exception to this was the Yondaime Hokage. He had been made the Hokage because he genuinely wanted the position and worked hard to one day take the seat. That he died so early into his reign was an omen that only those who didn't want the job were truly meant for it.

It was even believed that those who wanted the position never actually got it. The best examples of this were Kaito Dan, who died before he could take the position, Orochimaru, who turned out to be quite a sinister individual, and Danzō Shimura, no need to elaborate there.

It was because of this that Naruto declared so boldly that he would take the Hokage's hat when he desired the exact opposite. He believed that by being so loud in his (false) desire for the position, he would never get it. The incident with Sandaime's Will only reinforced the belief that he needed to convince everyone that he wanted the seat in order to avoid it.

Unfortunately, the reverse happened, and he was made the Rokudaime, something that irked him quite a bit while bringing immense joy to the Anbu.

The reason the Anbu knew of the falsehood was because they were in the room when the whiskered youth had proclaimed to the Sandaime his plan to ensure he wouldn't be tasked with the position.

Naruto's break was cut short when one of his clones cleared his throat.

"Yo, boss. We need to send for builders to fix up the village," one of his clones said.

Shaking off the last of his angry rant about his backstabbing sensei, he glanced up as his eyes squinted in consideration. "Have you sent a letter to Wave? Tazuna should be able to help."

"Yessir, boss," the clone replied as he took went to the task.

"Also, send out one to Koyuki-hime. We are allied with Snow, right?" Naruto said.

"No, our relationship with Snow is more a sort of friendship than anything else," one of the clones doing research stated.

The original frowned at that. "Well, send out for help anyways. See if we can enter into a treaty or something with them."

The clone working on the letter to Wave just nodded as continued his work.

The original returned to work alongside his clones. The clones had made a list of things that needed to be done aside from the paperwork, most of it a result of the attack.

With a glance at the rather lengthy list, he called in his secretary, Shiori-chan, if he remembered correctly, and began organizing it by priority. He had quite a few meetings he would need to schedule, and it seemed like it would be a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: ~8.8k - FFN Publish Date: 3/18/2018 - AO3 Publish Date: 4/18/2018
> 
> Yo! Newbie writer here. This story came from the idea that maybe Naruto didn't actually want to become Hokage. He had to have seen how stressed and overworked the Sandaime probably was while growing up and possibly decided that he didn't want to be stuck with all that, especially considering that every Hokage aside from the Sandaime seemed to have died young.
> 
> This story, along with the first three chapters, was first posted on FFN and I just activated my account here, which is why there are two dates listed in this note. I usually tack on the word count and the date published in my bottom Author's Note of each chapter for FFN but the two dates here will only be for this story's first three chapters as I should be cross-posting chapters for this story on the same day as I would on FFN. I also realize that I interchange Japanese words and English words a bit, which some might find annoying (or hadn't noticed until I pointed it out and probably now find it annoying if only because I pointed it out), and I want to apologize for that as I haven't quite decided the Japanese-English balance yet in my writing, but I should figure it out soon enough. Probably. Maybe.
> 
> Also, aside from the first three chapters, I have no clue when I'll update again, I'm a slow and easily distracted writer so it might be in a month, it be in a year, who knows, not me!
> 
> Until next time, don't die.


	2. Chapter 2

_I hate this job,_  Naruto thought to himself.

It was the next day when he had woken up in the Hokage's office, as he had fallen asleep as he and his clones worked late into the night. He refused to call it his office, at least to himself, as he didn't want it. The work was hellish, even with his Shadow Clones, and the paperwork just never seemed to stop.

The first meeting he had that day was with the Anbu Commander. They glossed over some things that each Hokage needed to know, along with establishing his Anbu security detail. He had a team consisting of Snake, Monkey, Mongoose, all of whom were led by Sparrow.

Naruto may or may not have glared at Sparrow when her position was revealed. She, of course, didn't react, and most definitely wasn't shaking in laughter. Nope, didn't happen.

The next few meetings were with financial advisors and department heads to gain a better understanding of the situation and help with making more informed decisions. The meeting with Ibiki had been rather terse, as the man was former Anbu and he knew that the blonde had absolutely no desire to be in the office and was willing to cut the Rokudaime some slack.

Currently, he had no meetings and he was instead working on some paperwork alongside his clones. While he would have liked to stick the job on them and go off to do something else, he knew that it would be best to avoid public. It had to have leaked that he was the Hokage and he had no desire to deal with that, which is why he had a chūnin bring an order from Ichiraku Ramen instead of going himself during his lunch break.

He was just about to snap at the boredom of the job when a knock resounded at the door. The door opened slightly and Shiori peeked her head in.

"Hokage-sama," Shiori said, forcing Naruto to work at not twisting his face, "three shinobi from Kumo are here to see you."

Naruto raised an eyebrow at that before shrugging and accepting the meeting. No point in speculating what Kumo wanted when he could just have them tell him.

The door opened to reveal two women and one man. The man and one of the women were dark-skinned and both had swords strapped to their backs. The man had a lollipop in his mouth and had white hair while the dark-skinned woman had long red hair that the cloth of her headband extended back to keep her hair out of her face. They both followed after a busty fair-skinned blonde with a serious expression on her face.

They all seemed shocked to see him to varying degrees. The most obvious was the dark-skinned woman, who frowned as she furrowed her brows. The man narrowed his eyes while the blonde merely lifted an eyebrow, briefly.

The blonde opened her mouth to speak but she was interrupted by the redhead behind her.

"Who the hell are you? We're here to see the Hokage!" the woman spoke, earning a glare from the blonde.

"I am the Hokage," Naruto said, internally cringing at the words and quickly tacking on, "for now. Tsunade-baa-chan isn't exactly doing well, what with the village and all." His vague waving to the window made them aware of the state of the village once more.

The redhead flushed a little while the Kumo male looked at him somewhat disbelievingly. The blonde seemed to accept his words, though Naruto doubted that she was much different than her teammates.

"I see. Well, I am Samui, that is Karui," the blonde said, introducing herself and tilting her head to the redhead behind her before tilting over to the man, "and that is Omoi. We are here with a message from the Raikage."

"What would he want with Konoha? I thought you guys were anti-Konoha," Naruto said.

The blunt statement took the two in the back by surprise but the blonde in front of the desk was unfazed.

"The Raikage's brother, B, has been kidnapped by a member of Akatsuki, Uchiha Sasuke," Samui said.

Naruto stared at her blankly. A few moments of silence passed before he smacked his head on the desk. He was unmindful of the Kumo ninjas' shocked expressions as he let out a long groan.

"I knew you were stupid, teme, but I didn't think you were retarded," he said in a low voice.

After a moment longer of his moping, a cough reminded him of their presence. Raising his head, a sheepish grin on his face, he focused back on the meeting and nodded to the leading woman to continue.

"Hokage-sama, the Raikage is calling a meeting in Tetsu no Kuni in a week for all of the Kages to attend," Samui said, bringing out a letter from her pouch and placing it on the desk, "the details of which are in there."

Naruto picked up the letter, opening it, and skimmed through it. A frown marred his face when he got to a certain part of the letter.

"I can agree to the Gokage meeting, but what is this request that you have in mind?" Naruto said, gazing up from the letter.

"The request is quite simple. We want all the information you have on Uchiha Sasuke and for you to declare him a missing-nin so that we may hunt him down," Samui replied.

Naruto's eyes widened in shock and opened his mouth to say something but quickly shut it. He wanted to deny the request, but he knew that what Sasuke did was too important to ignore, especially now. Sasuke's actions could mean war with Kumo, not to mention that it was another Bijū that Uchiha Madara, or a man claiming to be, now had.

"How long ago was this B taken?" Naruto asked instead, earning confused and wary expression. He supposed it was quite suspicious to be interested in another village's jinchūriki, especially considering it was one of Konoha's shinobi causing said jinchūriki's kidnapping.

"When Akatsuki captures a jinchūriki, it takes a minimum of three days for them to extract the Bijū, but that's only if they have all of their members," Naruto elaborated. "We've been able to bring down a few of them so it might be longer. If it's been less than three days, the Raikage's brother might still be alive."

The shocked and hopeful expressions on their faces made him smile at them, though it was nowhere near as bright as his typical grins.

"Thank you for that," Samui said genuinely before she went back to her typical tone. "Still, there is the matter of Uchiha Sasuke."

Naruto sighed at that, hoping they would have been distracted by the possible news of B's health. Professionals weren't ones to forget their mission objectives but he couldn't help but try.

"Monkey," he called out. The Anbu's form flickered into the room, kneeling in front of the desk, startling the two Kumo nin behind Samui. "Take them to look over the files we have on Sasuke."

With a nod and an agreement, he stood up and went to the door.

"I'll have Sasuke added to the Bingo Book as a missing-nin," Naruto said.

The Kumo shinobi thanked him and bowed before trailing behind Monkey.

When they were finally gone, Naruto forced himself to unclench his fists. It took a lot out of him to let Sasuke go like that, but he had no choice. It was for the good of Konoha, especially in the state they were currently in.

"Snake," Naruto said he calmed down some, "add Uchiha Sasuke to the Bingo Book."

"Rankings?" the Anbu suddenly kneeling before the desk asked.

Naruto hesitated for a second before he steeled himself. "A-rank. Dead or alive. I'll let you decide the price."

"Hai, Hokage-sama," the man replied before he disappeared from the confines of the room.

Naruto only allowed himself another minute of sulking before he went back to work. A Hokage can't allow his emotions overwhelm him and interfere with his work. Besides, the paperwork wasn't going to do itself.

With another sigh, he picked up his pen once more.

He really hated this job.

III

"Yo," Kakashi said, walking into the Hokage's Office.

Naruto looked up from his latest sheet of paperwork, noticing that the man looked the same as he always did, his eye glued to the Icha Icha in his hand, though he opted to give a casual salute in favor of his usual casual wave.

"Hatake-san," Naruto addressed his sensei, savoring the nearly undetectable wince from the jōnin, "so good of you to come on time, even five minutes early."

"Ah, well, something told me I should show up bright and early for the new Hokage," Kakashi said, pocketing his Icha Icha book.

"It's noon, jōnin-san," Naruto said dryly, once more savoring the not-well-hidden-enough wince from his sensei.

"Tomato, potato," Kakashi cheerfully dismissed.

"That is some good instinct you have, jōnin-san. Had you been late, I'm afraid I would have had to demote you to Tokubetsu jōnin," Naruto commented.

A pinched expression crossed over his sensei's face, or what little of it that remained visible. "Hokage-sama, it wouldn't be wise to abuse your newly acquired authority."

"Ah, but I have several complaints from our civilian population, quite a few from mothers who feel such blatant advertisement of certain proclivities to be rather corrupting for our youth," Naruto replied, dropping a hand on a remarkably thick pile of forms, causing the other man to start sweating. "Besides, jōnin who do not use the privileges afforded to them wisely need to be made an example of."

His sensei chuckled nervously. "You aren't still upset about my nomination of you for the Hokage's seat? After all, you are known for loudly proclaiming your desire for the position."

Naruto just smiled serenely at the man. "Of course not, jōnin-san, I would never begrudge your dedication to helping me fulfill my dreams."

Kakashi didn't buy his student's guise for a second.

"With the condition that the village is in, I don't quite have the time to review these complaints, as the rebuilding process is of utmost importance, I'm sure you can understand, but I am also sure I will be free enough to review them in due time, say, two months from now?" Naruto said, drumming his fingers on the stack of complaints he had yet to remove his hand from. He so enjoyed tormenting his sensei, who was nervously fidgeting, eye flicking between Naruto's serious expression and the stack of pages his fingers were fiddling with. "Of course, should I be unable to review such documents, for whatever reason, in that time, I'm sure these papers will get lost in the bureaucratic minutia that is politics. Need I say more?"

His sensei gulped audibly, letting out a small, nervous laugh. "No, thank you, Hokage-sama, I think I've gotten the gist of what you mean."

"Good, good, you're dismissed," Naruto replied, the serene smile returning to his face, causing Kakashi to relax just a tad.

When his sensei was just about at the door, hand grasping the door knob, Naruto spoke up. "Oh, and you might want to get some baby supplies."

"Whatever for, Hokage-sama?" The jōnin asked from over his shoulder.

"Kurenai-san had delivered her baby just a few days ago and she is rather hassled having to look after little Hiruzen on her own, especially with all the craziness of dealing with the aftermath of Nagato's attack. I was informed that you volunteered to help assist her in any way, shape, or form for the next two months. Of course, after hearing of how dedicated my sensei is to help out our fellow comrades, I've taken the liberty to remove you from active duty, effective immediately," Naruto informed his sensei, savoring the horrified look in the man's eye. Now, to deliver the final blow. "I would have liked to provide you with paid leave, but with the village in such dire straits, we must pinch every ryo we can. As such, you will be on unpaid leave, with the exception of allowing you to complete D-ranks, though you will be restricted to only one a day; we wouldn't want to take up too much of your time when you will be so busy helping your fellow jōnin-sensei. I am sure that Kurenai-san will be most…exuberant to receive your help, and I am sure that these next two months will be a memorable and inspiring experience so that you can fully appreciate helping out our fellow men and women in their times of need."

The beatific and proud smile on Naruto's face drove in the last nail of his revenge on his wise and quirky jōnin-sensei. The resigned expression on the man's face along with the begrudging respect he received was like a free bowl of ramen served by Ayame-chan herself.

When he was alone once more, at least visibly, he turned his seat to face his village (no matter how sour a taste that left in his mouth). From what he could see, the rebuilding efforts were going well, especially with Yamato-sensei working himself to the point of chakra exhaustion every night. Naruto would've worried for the man if he hadn't been in Anbu.

While not all members of Anbu are jōnin, they were drilled mercilessly on a variety of shinobi arts and important lessons, but one thing that all Anbu were aware of was their limits. That didn't mean that they wouldn't force themselves past said limits whenever they felt like it, but they at least acknowledged their limitations and subconsciously measured their current state to their limits and proceed with caution.

"Hokage-sama," a seemingly directionless voice said.

"Yes?" Naruto replied.

"Are you sure taking Kakashi-sempai off active duty to play babysitter was the best call to make, especially considering the current state of our village?"

"Of course it was. He needed a refresher on why not to mess with someone holding the Hokage's authority," Naruto said firmly.

"And you don't think this rather obvious abuse of power will cause others to see you in a negative light?" Another voice queried.

A grin stretched across Naruto's face. "Oh, I'm sure that the shinobi will have plenty to say in opposition to this order, especially among the village elite, such as the Jōnin."

A few chuckles rang out in the office, along with a sigh.

"You really will do anything to get out of that seat, won't you?"

"Must you even ask?" Naruto replied, another serene smile spreading across his face that didn't fool his Anbu detail one bit.

III

Naruto was on a break from his work and decided to take a stroll around the village. Well, a rooftop stroll, in a Henge, just to be safe. While he wasn't usually one to avoid people, his recent 'promotion' combined with the fame of defeating Pain left him with far too many admirers.

Despite his appearance, he could still sense his Anbu guard following after him. From the sound of some of their grumbling, along with the slightly cheerful and smug feel about Sparrow, Naruto figured they had some sort of bet going about him. It probably had something to do with his declaration that he was going on a break and anybody who interfered with it for anything less than an urgent matter would get an hour-long visit to Ibiki. It might have been a bit harsh, but the paperwork was messing with his head and he couldn't sit there any longer while suppressing the urge to see how much damage the Academy campfire jutsu could do if it was fueled by wind chakra.

It wasn't like it was the worst thing Naruto could punish someone with his new authority. If he really wanted to be an asshole, he would've threatened mandatory hour-long therapy sessions, for at least twelve weeks. The shinobi ranks were filled with child super soldiers; they'd much prefer a quickie with Ibiki than pour their feelings out or talk about the reason behind their coping mechanisms, or, as civilians call them, 'quirks.'

The repair of the village was going well. He could see Tazuna and Inari had already arrived with supplies and manpower, which should help lessen Yamato-taicho's workload, not that the man would do more than add an extra five minutes to his usual breaks. The man was a workaholic, though Naruto supposed anyone that was trained by Kakashi-sensei in his Anbu days had to be.

In a couple weeks, men from the Land of Snow would arrive, freeing up some more of the shinobi for missions. A large part of Konoha's shinobi forces were always out of the village on missions, like Gai's team had been, and were unaffected by Pain's attack, which would've been the only reason Konoha would have been able to recover from the attack, assuming Nagato hadn't revived all those he killed. Despite that, quite a few shinobi who were scheduled to leave the village for missions were tangled up by reconstruction effort, forcing the mission to be delayed. It also affected the number of free shinobi, many of whom would've gone to the Mission Office to pick a mission out, and the Mission Office was starting to get full; the world didn't care whether a Hidden Village was dealing with a crisis or not and mission requests kept coming. If a Hidden Village couldn't respond to mission requests for a prolonged period, their clients would look elsewhere, and not having enough spare manpower was the bane of all Hidden Villages.

Koyuki's response was a godsend for Konoha. Tazuna and his construction company were a definite boon, especially considering the no-bid, long-term contract that he gave to Konoha for a small startup sum so that he and his fellow workers could get better equipment and their families could recover from Gatō's high demands, but Koyuki's envoy would be just a touch better. Tazuna, while providing more men, as many in Wave Country were similarly destitute and were willing to work under one of their own, who would no doubt provide a decent wage, but Koyuki was bringing engineers and technology, providing Konoha the opportunity to come out of the assault better than it never happening. After all, modernizing a Hidden Village is always a difficult and painstaking process, what with the numerous old and hardened war veterans refusing to adapt now that they don't have to worry about fighting in a war they have no control over, and building anew would take the fight out of them, especially when it would cost them more to demand a change to the drafted building plans.

It was a lucky thing that Koyuki was on a break from filming, thus able to reply in a timely manner. Had Naruto's letter been sent even two days later, she wouldn't have received it for at least another week, as her current film project's director had them scheduled to end up in one of the more remote regions in Snow, one of the few stretches of land untouched by their powerful heat generators.

That wasn't to say that there weren't any diplomatic snafus, there always was when a Hidden Village makes a request to any entity based outside of the country their based in. Tazuna's longstanding contract took care of any diplomatic issues, but the Land of Snow, while friendly with Konoha, were not officially allied with one another. Surprisingly, it had nothing to do with the fact that those who ally themselves directly with a Hidden Village were more likely to be targeted by said Hidden Village's enemies, a major problem that had occurred in the Third Shinobi War. Konohagakure no Sato wasn't the one they had an issue with, but the country they were based in, Fire Country.

From what Naruto could gather, he could at least say that it wasn't any fault of Fire Country's Daimyō, the man was all for it, but his financial and diplomatic advisors who were unwilling to compromise. The advisors thought that Snow, with their still recovering from Dotō's tyranny that invested far too heavily into increasing their military might and were still dealing with the aftermath, was weak and they were trying to use that to put them under Fire Country's thumb, so to speak, by adding ludicrous stipulations to a series of trade agreements that the potential alliance relies on.

It essentially all broke down to a host of greedy advisors that the Fire Daimyō can't officially go against as their demands are in best interests of Fire Country, just not Snow Country. Doing so would add fuel to his political enemies, who didn't quite have the power to oppose him but could make his life and the lives of his business interests difficult, especially if they actually are in contact with a particular group of political dissidents that are rumored to be willing to wage guerilla warfare on select portions of the country.

If there was one good thing that came out of Naruto's becoming Hokage, however temporary his reign will be, it was that he had the authority the position granted him to make whatever agreements he wanted without going to the Daimyō's Court. It was well-known that a country's Hidden Village had something going on the side with any number of foreign governments, independent of their country's official stance. The only Hidden Village that was truly dependent on their own official government was Suna, whose location made it much more difficult to receive foreign clientele without the earmarked contracts funneled to them by the Wind Daimyō, whose allegedly slave-trading brother-in-law that was always a bit too demanding of his sister's and said sister's daughters' constant presence at their family home had mysteriously disappeared. Kiri might have been if they didn't already have a stranglehold on the majority of Water Country's ports, not to mention the recent string of assassinations of the politicians who were in favor of marginalizing those with Kekkai Genkai.

Two signed trade agreements put forth by Snow Country originally for debate, minor they may be, but both heavily in Snow's favor, had been sent ahead first, separate from Naruto's simple open-ended request. The request asked for manpower in order to rebuild from an attack by a terrorist organization, damage assessment unknown but considerable, guard detail available upon request free of charge. Attached to the request was a third trade agreement, an incomplete draft, but this one affecting Fire Country as a whole, with a note at the end stating it was signed off by "Temporary Hokage: Uzumaki Naruto."

The trade agreements had been sent by messenger hawk almost immediately after they were signed, but Naruto held back until his second day as Hokage, technically his first whole day, to send the request with the drafted, but incomplete, trade agreement. It had taken a week before he got a response, but he had received it barely three hours prior.

Koyuki herself had answered the request, stating that she would have around a hundred workers, along with a dozen engineers, who held the authority to implement whatever upgrades they deem necessary while negotiating and signing off on any agreements for compensation for use of Snow's patented technological advancements, gathered up by the end of the week, along with a request for suitable guards. Naruto didn't hesitate to send a dozen Chūnin led by two Jōnin, Ebisu, who Naruto felt really deserved a break from the Konohamaru Corps' shenanigans after nearly being gutted by Pain, and Neji, who volunteered, probably because the Hyūga Elders were getting antsy with Naruto becoming Rokudaime, what with his public disdain for their tradition. That one of the Chūnin sent on the mission was a Hyūga Branch member who may or may not have needed a cover for why he was seen entering the Hokage Tower, who may or may not have passed along an unofficial letter from the Hyūga Clan Head, was Naruto's business, done at his discretion, and no one had the right to demand answers from, at least until seven weeks later.

The last time Naruto had received seven weeks of legroom, he had reached a proficiency of senjutsu that would've made his late sensei pout and brood about, as the man's own Sage Mode took him years to achieve, and it still paled in comparison to his student's.

The thought of the proverbial shit-storm that he was going to rain down on top of the Hyūga Elders made him smile at the sight of the Hokage Tower for the first time in a week as he hopped across the rooftops in its direction.

His Anbu detail traded wary looks at each other from behind their porcelain masks. Despite their professionalism and their job as the Hokage's guard detail, they were reluctant to follow after him. Whatever brought out that decidedly maniacal edge in their superior's smile, they were sure they did not want to be anywhere near the young man when the shit hit the fan.

Still, like their superior, they did the job they were assigned, albeit reluctantly.

III

"Hokage-sama," a seemingly directionless voice called out.

Naruto knew the method behind that little trick. Once upon a time, a slightly younger version of the blonde had been endlessly curious about how to call out his voice from all around a target, so that an enemy didn't know his location. As much of a clusterfuck his first C-rank mission was, it opened his eyes to the realities of shinobi life, along with providing him another nindō, not to mention a curiosity of the how's of the abilities he witnessed.

So, when he was bored on the road during his training trip, he pestered his perverted sensei, who was always annoyingly stingy with his knowledge. As long it wasn't some sort of high-level technique, the man usually cracked in a couple hours, and one day, when he did nag at his sensei, three hours later, the man told him.

Take a bit of chakra, a miniscule amount, as even the best sensors have trouble sensing small chakra fluctuation and channel it into one's vocal chords. To throw one's voice, one should make the chakra 'stick' to the sound produced while the vocal chords are vibrating. After that, merely burst the chakra like a smoke bomb all around the target, which should 'release' the trapped sound of one's voice.

Naruto had naturally been doubtful and confused. Stick chakra to sound? Release it? How the hell was someone supposed to do shit like that? Sure, the Rasengan was stupidly complex, and its description was also just as crazy, as there were very few people alive that had the balls to, or the stupidity to even attempt to, 'create a self-sustaining omnidirectional spinning orb of chakra that can and will grind anything and everything in its path to dust,' but at least it served a purpose beyond mildly freaking people out. Well, to anybody that wasn't Kabuto. Or Kisame.

Jiraiya had merely laughed, said it was both easier and harder than it sounded. It was the reason so few shinobi could do it, which confused Naruto as he'd occasionally heard Anbu operatives doing the same thing growing up. The perverted old man had snorted at that, calling it bullshit. Apparently, the Anbu cheated; they could create a similar effect, but there wasn't a single Anbu in Konoha that Jiraiya knew that was capable of doing it like one of the Seven Swordsmen of Mist could.

"I would thank you to not put me under a genjutsu when we're alone. This is eighth time you've done so, Monkey, don't think I don't know it's you," Naruto said with a sigh, eyes narrowing for the brief moment his eyes shot to a spot on the ceiling directly behind where most visitors would be standing.

"Ah, right, of course, apologies, Hokage-sama," Monkey spoke, a little flustered, whose voice now came from the spot Naruto had briefly eyed. He paused to clear his throat. "I was just wondering, are you sure it's wise to keep avoiding the villagers?"

"I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about," Naruto replied serenely, a beatific smile forming on his face.

"Hokage-sama," Monkey started to say.

"No idea!" Naruto barked, his serene air lifting for the short moment his slightly, and rather suddenly, bloodshot eyes glared at Monkey's spot on the ceiling. When he didn't hear anything more the Anbu, the serene air returned as his lips curved into a tired smile. "Thank you."

His attention returned to the papers in front of him. He'd been trying to figure out what to do about Danzō's little militia. The one-eyed mummy's situation was proving to be a tough nut to crack.

When he had gotten a report from Sai earlier in the week about his pink-haired teammate nearly tenderizing the understandably hotheaded Kumo-nin, their sensei had been kidnapped by a group of terrorists, a situation not all that unfamiliar to Naruto as he vividly remembered how he felt when Gaara had been kidnapped, he'd been reminded of the unpleasant remnants of Root. While it had been officially disbanded, filing a signed and stamped form didn't mean much to a group of ghosts, especially when there was a suspicious lack of shinobi profiles rediscovered from some out of the way filing cabinet.

The problem with dealing with these ghosts was never a lack of information. They were setup in a shinobi village they had no official allegiance or connection to, whose operatives had the emotional depth of a teaspoon; the only ones they were fooling were themselves.

No, it wasn't that, it was what to do with them. The Sandaime had been the one to officially disband Root during his first term, but he was well aware that Danzō had kept them around. He merely shrugged his shoulders and passed the problem onto his successor.

The Yondaime had taken a look at the problem, had official Anbu operatives keep tabs on them, and refiled the paperwork to disband Root when he found the Sandaime's original directive suspiciously missing. The multiple witnesses he'd brought in to his filing of said paperwork made it stick a little longer. Of course, then the Kyūbi attack had happened, and the storage unit that housed that directive's paperwork was torched, each and every one of the shinobi that witnessed it being processed dying on the same night as well, whether it was because of they died holding off the Kyūbi or they stubbed their toe and tripping down a flight of stairs, slitting their throat on a loose tanto that they really should have put away in its proper sheath.

The Sandaime, a few years after the Kyūbi attack, comes across a requisition form for one 'Uchiha Shisui,' and files the paperwork again, rightly believing it was destroyed in the Kyūbi attack and Danzō took it as a sign to keep his horror show up and running. When he retired once more, through fatal means this time, his directive to disband Root was lost once more, as apparently, the bloodthirsty Oto shinobi and financially destitute Suna shinobi were rather interested in shredding documents despite their never making it even a mile from the Hokage Tower's storage sublevels.

The Godaime took one look at the problem, ordered Danzō into her office and told him in no uncertain words, should he try anything funny with his pet shinobi, she would castrate the man and feed him his own testicles. She took the afternoon off and proceeded to get thoroughly smashed as she barhopped in an effort to avoid her well-meaning and loyal apprentice.

Now, the problem landed in Naruto's lap. Well, not really, the only Hokage's lap the problem had literally landed in was the Sandaime's, and that had only been when the man was trying to see if he could get away with doing paperwork on a clipboard on his lap as a cover to read his perverted student's latest publication.

Still, Naruto figured he should at least attempt to figure it out, if not for his sake, then for Sai's, who he was sure he had drunkenly promised to end Root when he made Hokage. There was a reason that Jiraiya had quickly learned to never hand his student an alcoholic beverage.

He still got letters from Idate bitching about that one town in Tea Country he got himself and Jiraiya banned from. How was he supposed to know what kind of drunk he was? It was his first time drinking with his perverted sensei and the man had encouraged him, ignoring his protests about how he just knew Iruka-sensei would lay into him when he found out.

Naruto broke out of his musings with a jolt. An idea jolt, not his usual Shadow Clone jolts, not that he didn't have at least a hundred of those running around the village.

Just because his original self was (most definitely not, he told himself) hiding from the villagers didn't mean that some version of him was out there, yakking it up with the townsfolk, deflecting the cringe-inducing calls of 'Hokage-sama' from all that knew him to cringe-inducing memories that he ruthlessly repressed, and just general leader direction, especially with the reconstruction effort.

Writing out a quick memo, signing his name with a flourish, before sending it off via hapless Chūnin, and the problem was out of his hands.

"Hokage-sama," Sparrow spoke, her voice incredulous, uncaring of the nasty glare he sent towards her real location for putting him in another unnecessary genjutsu as her voice surrounded him. "Did you seriously just shove the problem of a homegrown, unauthorized paramilitary force composed of emotionally stunted shinobi who were kidnapped and brainwashed from a young age onto an Academy Instructor?"

Naruto, who had been nodding along with his increasingly familiar serene smile raised a finger in the air. "Ah, you forget, Iruka-sensei isn't just any Academy teacher, but one who has rejected not one, not two, but six Jōnin evaluations, the man that my sensei's Eternal Rival turned to for help on understanding his Genin team, who one of whom is a Jōnin already, the other two Chūnin who are already being considered by the Jōnin Commander for a Tokubetsu Jōnin promotion, one of the few men that looked the Sandaime in the eye and straight-up lied to him to cover for his student's theft of the Forbidden Scroll of Seals despite knowing that the Sandaime knew that the man was lying, and last, but most certainly not least…"

Naruto paused for a moment, a mischievous smirk worming its way onto his face. "…he taught me, Uzumaki Naruto, who once rigged the showers of the Anbu Headquarters with balloons filled with neon pink paint that was set off precisely when each and every shower was occupied after the usual evening training sessions for new recruits while stealing their clothes, for shits and giggles while I was still in the Academy. I think if he can consistently catch me in no more than fifteen minutes after a prank, when it took those angry and half-naked Anbu recruits a whole seven hours, not to mention the number of times I've lost the Anbu detail that usually dogged my steps every second of every day before I left for my training trip with Jiraiya-sensei, and still somehow drill the importance of writing legible mission reports in a timely manner or importance of the chain of command, or a thousand other boring things into me, he can handle Danzō and his emotionally repressed soon-to-be-former minions."

When his Anbu failed to do anything but open and close their mouths repeatedly behind their masks, he allowed his lips to form a serene smile once more.

"Besides, I'm not shoving anything off on someone else. I'm delegating. Good leaders are known to do that," Naruto said, nodding repeatedly.

There was a moment of silence before–

"DAMMIT NARUTO, ISN'T SACRIFICING MY PAYCHECK AT ICHIRAKU'S ENOUGH FOR YOU!?"

Naruto didn't react to the desperate cry of outrage that somehow rattled the open windows of the Hokage Tower. He merely looked out the window, seemingly mesmerized by the golden rays of the sunset falling over the broken village, its people slowly, but surely, rebuilding it to a state stronger and more vibrant than ever before.

"Such a beautiful and inspiring sight, isn't it?" Naruto said, his voice somehow a mixture of calm expectance and mesmerized awe.

There was another moment of silence before–

"TEACH THEM EMOTIONS?! HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT!?"

Naruto only nodded, a serene smile on his lips as his eyes alit with the confidence and strength that would make even Uchiha Madara shuffle uncomfortably backwards if he were to be subjected to it.

"THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE GOING TO PIMP ME OUT TO THE TSCUCHIKAGE'S GRANDDAUGHTER!? SHE'S NINETEEN! I WAS A GENIN WHEN SHE WAS STILL IN DIAPERS!"

"Yes, Konoha will no doubt come out of this strife stronger and more powerful than before," Naruto said with a fire in his eyes.

Yes, Uchiha Madara would back away slowly and carefully in the face of those eyes. After all, the last time he saw a man with such desperate and insane eyes, it was Senju Hashirama, mere moments after it was announced that he'd been voted the Shodaime Hokage, when the Senju fervently whispered an asinine plan that led to the creation of what is now known as 'The Valley of the End.'

"I DON'T CARE HOW 'FINE' HER ASS IS! SHE'S NINETEEN! NINETEEN! I REFUSE TO BECOME A CRADDLEROBBER! I DIDN'T SKIP OUT ON SIX FUCKING JŌNIN EVALUATIONS FOR THIS SHIT!"

History writes of the scarred land as the result of a battle between a man touched by insanity, lashing out at the people who forsake him, and a man pleading desperately to get his fellow visionary and friend to see reason once more. History would be mostly right.

They just flipped the madman and the concerned friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: ~6.3k - FFN Publish Date: 3/20/2018 - AO3 Publish Date 4/18/2018
> 
> This is another chapter that was already posted on my FFN account, so whatever I had in the Author's Notes is mostly irrelevant, except the bit about how I do appreciate kudos, I most certainly read comments, and I do appreciate each and every one of them, even if I don't respond to some (probably all, I am far too lazy for my own good) of them.
> 
> Also, I suppose I should probably update the tags to say that this is a tad AU, in a historical sense, as the end bit about Madara and Hashirama is actually true in this story. Even now, I am still a bit disappointed in the length of this chapter compared to the first one, as it is around 2k words lighter.
> 
> Until next time, don't die.


	3. Chapter 3

A shinobi's job is never finished. The missions they were tasked with, ones assigned by the Mission Office, might end, with varying levels of success and failure, but their work never ends. Whether it be as an overworked Academy Instructor, a clerk in the Hokage Tower, or even the Hokage themselves, their job, their work, never ends.

It was an unfortunate part of the job. In order to keep working, to keep surviving, in a profession so varied from painting fences to waging war, one had to adapt, improve, lest they risk stagnation, or worse, regression.

The best way to do that?

Training.

Whether they were a Genin, Chūnin, Tokubetsu Jōnin, Jōnin, or Kage, they all kept their edge and worked to surpass their limits through training.

It was in Training Ground Three that the latest Hokage was camped out in. It had been two weeks since he had taken the Hokage's post, against his silent, and not so silent, arguments, it should be noted. Paperwork could occupy only so much of his thoughts before he snapped. Thankfully, his time in the Academy had prepared him immensely; learning how to deal with boredom before it eroded whatever sanity he had left had been an exceedingly worthwhile lesson, one he was sure Iruka-sensei had not actually meant to teach.

At least, Naruto hoped not. The man could be cruel, but not that much, right?

Mentally shaking away the random thoughts that ran through his mind, he placed all his focus back into his meditation. It wasn't the first thing he wanted to work on, not with practically feeling his muscles atrophy with every passing second that he'd spent reviewing and revising and drafting and on and on it dragged. No, he most certainly did not want to be stuck sitting in one place, unnaturally still (and it was unnatural, no matter what Fukasaku-jiji said to the contrary).

Unfortunately, he had no choice but to do so. What the villagers didn't understand, shinobi and civilians alike, was that his training wasn't complete. When he had arrived in the middle of the crater Pain had turned Konoha into, he had been forced to compensate using Shadow Clones that were prepared ahead of time, just so he could stay in Sage Mode for longer than the pitiful amount of time each clone's dispersal provided him with.

Sure, his Sage Mode may have been better than Jiraiya's, his taking little more than a month to achieve compared to Jiraiya's years of study and practice, and sure, he had defeated Pain, but that had only been due to the man exhausting himself trying to contain the Kyūbi. Jiraiya-sensei, for all his achievements and incredible prowess, strong enough to make a monster like Hoshigaki Kisame back off with little argument, albeit at the direction of his partner, had been shit at senjutsu. The only reason that Jiraiya had lost against Pain, aside from not having a firm grasp of his enemy's abilities and being kept disoriented enough that he didn't consider retreating until he was essentially surrounded, was because his Sage Mode was subpar at best, even with Ma and Pa on his shoulders.

Where Jiraiya lacked the aptitude for the dangerous art, Naruto more than made up for. Pa had been so surprised at his being able to enter Sage Mode with such little training that he had revealed a secret to Naruto, one that he had wanted to with Jiraiya, what with his being their only recent summoner, and a faithful one at that, but didn't because Jiraiya just didn't have the natural aptitude for senjutsu, as he had to work tirelessly just to get to the imperfect version that he had before he died.

The secret? His Sage Mode is not the highest form of senjutsu.

Apparently, the mythical figure of the Sage of Six Paths had chanced upon the Toad Summons' home, as the man had been something of a traveling hermit in his youth, spreading the teachings of chakra to the people of the Elemental Nations. While in Mt. Myōboku, the then old Gamamaru, the now very very old Great Toad Sage, that Shima had taught Naruto to call 'Ōjiji-sama,' had spoken to each other. As the man had gained a fondness and respect for the Toad Summons and their love and respect for nature, he told them of a higher form of senjutsu, eclipsing even the highest form that Gamamaru had been taught by his forefathers and passed down to his students, Fukasaku and Shima.

Naruto was naturally suspicious and doubtful of the Two Great Toad Sages, seeing as the Sage of Six Paths was an old myth, one that predated recorded time, some millennia or two ago. It certainly didn't help the story's credibility when not even Gamamaru had remembered exactly how long ago it was, especially when accounting for Pa's and Ma's age.

Eight hundred years old? That was believable, even if Naruto still had his doubts that anyone could live that long, aside from the Bijū, who were believed to be forces of nature themselves. Gamamaru being even older, by as large as a couple millennia?

Naruto may have fallen for Mizuki's betrayal, but that was only because his mind was too cloud by hope at the thought of making up for his failure to graduate to pay attention to his bullshit radar, which was ringing like rather loudly at the prospect of the Elder Toad Sages' story.

But, he was their summoner, a faithful one, just like his sensei, and he was willing to believe them, if only barely; he didn't think sitting so still that it felt like his heart had stopped beating, to the point where he could actually feel his blood slowing down, was possible but it apparently was. Naruto supposed that if they could disprove the notion of being able to live without one's heart beating, learning to filter oxygen in his lungs without them moving to inhale and exhale air, he would give them the benefit of the doubt.

That didn't mean Naruto was at all excited at the prospect of attaining some higher form of Sage Mode. When Pa had whacked Gamakichi for his comment about needing to die in order to absorb natural energy, he had been relieved, thinking that learning senjutsu wouldn't be like learning to use the Kyūbi's chakra, which made his skin peel and burn when he attempted to use its Version One Cloak with multiple tails, where the Kyūbi's chakra coalesced into an orange fox-like haze. When Pa said he could use the Toad Oil to gather natural energy, he was even more relieved, as he didn't know how he would be able to do something like sit that (un)naturally still, which didn't sound all that fun of an experience, reassured that he didn't need to imitate a corpse.

Then the old toad had said that the Toad Oil was only for learning, that he still needed to learn to sit still without moving a muscle, any muscle, even his heart. He was further dismayed when he learned that the Toad Oil would evaporate outside of Mt. Myōboku. The last of his hopes were crushed when the damned Nine-Tailed Fox had refused to allow Pa to merge with him and do the sitting still part in order to gather natural energy, or Senjutsu Meditation, as one of younger toads had called it.

Why was he so desperate to avoid Senjutsu Meditation? Because it was painful.

Naruto didn't think about things much, especially when it came to exactly how a technique worked, he sure as hell didn't understand the mechanics of Rasengan until he needed to when he was trying to complete it, at least not really, but he had enough wits to think about exactly what sitting so still that natural energy would think he was dead. He could fool an animal, or any other sentient or instinct-driven creature, but to create a deception so strong that it warped the laws of physics, the fundamental principles of reality? His bullshit radar had been ringing, practically blaring, in his head when he was first told of Senjutsu Meditation, even more so after his first few attempts at it.

Pa said that the act of balancing the foreign, ambient energy of the world, referred to as natural energy, with a person's internal physical and spiritual energies that made up their chakra was so dangerous that it turned people into toads, and then statues. The numerous toad statues by the reservoir of Toad Oil were of all the previous Toad Summons' contractors that had failed to do so, rather spectacularly.

It was so difficult that only shinobi were allowed to be taught the art, and only extremely highly skilled ones, or those capable of summoning the Toad Summons' Boss, such as Gamabunta, at that. Civilians had much too small of a chakra capacity in comparison to any shinobi's, and only extremely highly skilled shinobi, those few that were firmly set in the S-rank category, had large enough chakra capacities to summon the Boss Toad. People could argue that a shinobi could be considered extremely highly skilled without massive chakra reserves, such as Sakura, who had only as much chakra as an average Jōnin, but they forgot that the reason chakra reserves were compared to muscles so often wasn't because of the proper training in its usage could build a shinobi's ease of access, but rather that chakra reserves, with the proper training, could grow virtually infinitely.

It wasn't a widely known fact, but the Nidaime, despite being born to the Senju Clan, which was known for their large chakra capacities due to their strong life force, was born with the reserves of a civilian child's. The Nidaime refused to accept such a restriction and trained so hard and so often in chakra control, along with some decidedly dangerous rituals, that his chakra system had to adapt to the strain he put on himself. Theoretically speaking, even someone like Sakura could have the reserves of someone like Naruto. It was the reason that Kakashi had been able to use his Mangekyō Sharingan's ability after Naruto's training trip with Jiraiya, an act which would have instantly killed Kakashi if his reserves were still as small as they had been when he had fought Zabuza on Team Seven's first C-rank mission.

The Nidaime had even stated, in one of his journals he'd left behind for any future Hokage to peruse, that the reason an Uchiha could use the Mangekyō Sharingan's abilities so easily after acquiring the eyes of another Mangekyō Sharingan user's, thus becoming the Eternal Mangekyō Sharingan, was because the foreign DNA of the new eyes forced an Uchiha's chakra reserves to grow exponentially. It was also because of that much too sudden an increase of chakra that had a tendency of driving an Uchiha insane, as their brains couldn't quite keep up with the flood of spiritual energy now flowing through them. Their minds typically warped to the point that most Uchiha either drowned in their madness or their thoughts were distorted and twisted into delusions, even more than the stress of a normal Mangekyō did.

Only those with massive chakra capacities could ever hope to learn the skill of balancing natural energy with normal chakra to create senjutsu chakra, as they had an increased buffer of normal chakra to survive the training. Most, if not all, rookies learning to gather, and balance, natural energy absorb far too much of it, and those with too small chakra reserves turn into toads or statues too fast for Fukasaku-sensei to beat it out of them. When Jiraiya had first arrived at Mt. Myōboku at six years old, he'd had this exact problem and he'd been forced to wait for his chakra reserves to grow with age and experience as a shinobi, only learning Senjutsu Meditation and a variant of Toad Sage Fist that didn't require one to be in Sage Mode or to manipulate natural energy.

This was not the case for Naruto. He'd found it rather easy to balance natural energy when he had an estimate of how much it took to properly mix with his own in order to attain Sage Mode. Jiraiya's body, even after becoming an adult and making Jōnin, just didn't react to natural energy so well, nor could he mix his normal chakra with natural energy all that well to form senjutsu chakra, but Naruto had no such problems, what with his body and chakra being so familiar with adapting to the Kyūbi's harsh, potent, hate-filled chakra; natural energy was a tickle compared to the sheer agony that came with Bijū chakra. It was the Senjutsu Meditation that Naruto had a problem with.

He could take pain, he could resist his mind being twisted by hatred and rage; the Kyūbi's chakra had taught him that. It was commanding his body to adapt to not moving, to stopping, that he had trouble with.

His experience with the Kyūbi's chakra hadn't really taught him to resist the darkness that took over his mind, the anger that overrode his rational mind's control of his body. He'd once tried to resist, to fight with tooth and nail and all his effort, to force away the shift in mindset, but he'd quickly found out that hatred and rage aren't things that can be so easily ignored. No, he didn't fight the Kyūbi's rage and hatred, its will, tempered by more than a millennium of experience, wasn't something any human could overpower.

Instead, he'd learned to accept the dark emotions, let his usual tight control of his body free to react to the Kyūbi's influence. He'd learned that the Kyūbi's chakra could only affect his body and not his mind, at least until the fourth tail was formed, leaving him to conserve his mental strength, only using it to briefly exert enough control to either avoid attacking his teammates or cut off the increased flow of the Kyūbi's chakra. He had never truly been in control of his body when using the Kyūbi's chakra, not fully, as he had only ever wrestled control of his body to fight the instincts the Kyūbi's chakra influenced for brief and fleeting moments.

Senjutsu Meditation required him to override his body's natural instincts, the involuntary actions every sentient creature's body performed instinctively to stay alive. He had force his heart to stop beating, his lungs to stop breathing, even his blood to stop flowing! The sheer agony resulting from fighting the unconscious instincts born out of a need to survive was by no means an easy thing to endure. Naruto was able to do it, he had the strength of will to do so, but it still took him time to be able exert that control.

Pa had mistaken the time it had first took for him to gather natural energy and balance it with his own to enter Sage Mode. That initial measure of entering Sage Mode was actually two minutes and fifty-five seconds of taking full control of his body. The other five seconds were divided between gathering natural energy and balancing it with his own to enter Sage Mode.

Naruto hadn't corrected Pa about the toad's count of three minutes, but he had asked how exactly the toad knew when he had entered Sage Mode, thus stopping the timer. He hadn't actually wanted to know, the question had been because of a quirk of his, a habit of needing to say something when he was finally done with something stressful, which overcoming the survival instincts born from more than two thousand years of genetic evolution definitely counted as. He had expected the toad to say he could sense it in him or something along those lines.

To his surprise, the toad had said that he just waited for the appearance of the orange pigmentations around his eyes, a sure sign of Naruto being in Sage Mode. It was too difficult for even Fukasaku's eight hundred years to sense the exact moment someone had entered Sage Mode, so he settled for waiting for whatever toad-like characteristics that consistently came with a person's activation of Sage Mode.

Pa never saw the funny face Naruto had made after the toad answered, as he turned to the direction of his wife's voice calling them for dinner. As Pa was a toad himself, he never knew that it took just under a second for the toad-like characteristics to appear on a human after they entered Sage Mode; the measure of that bit of time that separated a full second and the time it took for the changes to occur was too infinitesimal for the technology of their clocks to approximate. Since he was kid, Naruto always had a good sense of time, and its exactness had only sharpened when he had, out of an annoyance-fueled curiosity, repeatedly stared at a digital timer to see if his Jōnin-sensei was always late by some exact amount, so he had split his concentration just enough to conscious count how long it took him to perform each step in entering his natural energy-fueled enhanced state.

By his count, it had taken him exactly four seconds to gather the proper amount of natural energy.

But, that count had been taken on his third successful time entering Sage Mode. The Shadow Clones he'd left behind in Mt. Myōboku for summoning in order to quickly reenter Sage Mode had already been at it for hours by the time he had left for Konoha. His clones, before they popped, who had never followed his orders exactly outside of a combat situation, had taken to experimenting with how fast they could gather the exact amount of natural energy he needed for him to enter Sage Mode, while one of the brave ones had decided to experiment with how long it took for him to properly enter Senjutsu Meditation.

When Naruto had been fighting Pain's Deva Path, he didn't have the time to sort out his clone's memories, so he had shoved them into the recesses of his mind. After the fight, he had been too distracted, what with the joy of earning his people's respect and admiration, the horror of being named Rokudaime Hokage, and the tiresome, mind-numbing experiences of carrying out that awful position's duties, not to mention dealing with the brief spurts of insanity induced by his new (and definitely temporary) job.

After two trying weeks, he'd finally gotten to a point in the Hokage's workload that he was comfortable leaving Shadow Clones in his office by themselves, where he wouldn't know if they'd done anything stupid until they popped, thus unable to impose his will through their link to make a misbehaving Shadow Clone return to its work.

He didn't pop them, that was exactly what they wanted him to do, and he knew his clones weren't pussy enough to off themselves when it went against his orders, even in the face of doing the Hokage's work.

The first thing he did, before he'd even left his office, was comb through the numerous memories of his fight with Pain, trying to find each and every mistake he'd made so that he could best use his free time to train himself to correct them in the future. When he'd stumbled upon the memories of the clones he'd left behind in Mt. Myōboku, he was too shocked, too disbelieving, of what he'd found. Out of a desperate need to confirm what he'd found, he'd jumped out of the Hokage's Office, barely remembering to grab a timer from one of his desk's drawers, the previous Hokage left all kinds of things behind, and instinctively ran towards Training Ground Three, the place his team had always claimed as their own.

So here he was, seated on the ground, his thumb lightly pressed to the stop button of his timer. When he felt himself firmly enter Sage Mode, he stopped the timer, the timer's beep reaching his ears as he opened his eyes.

He couldn't have stopped himself from grinning like a maniac, even if he wanted to, when he eyes caught sight of the timer's screen.

He jumped into the air, his cheerful shouts reverberating through the woods and scaring away the birds as he repeatedly punched the air, bouncing around with joy.

After a moment or two, he was finally able to contain himself enough to connect his hands in a familiar perpendicular hand-seal. A massive cloud of smoke later, a sea of grinning orange and black faced him, each quickly snapping of a salute with chorused shout of agreement before jumping away to find an empty spot to complete their unspoken orders.

In the excited clamor that ensued, he forgot about the timer left in the grass, later picked up by a curious Sparrow, who wiped clean the dirt off the screen, barely able to make out the screen's single vertical line, before it automatically blanked.

III

It was six days later when Naruto, in the midst of Senjutsu Meditation, sensed them. He wasn't in Sage Mode when he sensed, at least, not really. He was in the middle of an experiment, one dealing with natural energy, something that the two hidden nearby couldn't detect, so he was fine with them watching. His army of Shadow Clones were also working, but Naruto figured that if they were willing to ballsy enough to spy on a Hokage, even a reluctant one, then he figured he could reward them with the sight of his training.

Besides, they weren't doing all that bad of a job, he'd only picked them up because of the passive boost that his ability to detect and manipulate natural energy, and not even his Anbu had been aware of them until Sparrow had used her Byakugan and signaled the others. They would come out in their own time if they wanted something, and he was in the middle of an experiment.

Three days ago, he had finally realized something. While his Sage Mode was complete in itself, and he had no desire to summon Fukasaku-jiji, who would undoubtedly try to get him to work on attaining that 'higher form' of senjutsu that would surely be more painful than Senjutsu Meditation had been to master, it didn't mean he had mastered all that senjutsu had to offer.

He was well aware that, outside of the level of thought borne from the Sandaime's subtle manipulations of training him to eventually take on the Hokage seat, he wasn't the brightest kunai out there. Even a six-year-old would've figured out that there was something suspicious about the busiest and most important man in the village, a dictator no less, was willing to meet with him every day.

In hindsight, the man had asked a lot of vague questions that no child should be expected, much less able, to answer, and showed no compunctions about thinking up fun little analogies and creating childish games that allowed a kid to understand the thinly veiled reservoir of wisdom and knowledge, something that was definitely below the man's paygrade.

To this day, the fact that it took him a full two years colored his cheeks red with embarrassment.

Still, he of all people should have known that just being able to enter and use Sage Mode did not mean he had mastered senjutsu. It was like the secret of the Shadow Clone technique all over again or the time he'd realized that his late sensei's comments about him not mastering the Rasengan was about his still needing a clone to form one. In fairness to him, the latter didn't quite count as the Rasengan that he created with a Shadow Clone was better than what the normal Rasengan made only with one hand has to offer, what with the two extra hands condensing more chakra into the small sphere than Jiraiya's normal one-handed Rasengan ever did.

So, after a brief period of berating himself for his idiocy, he started to experiment with natural energy. There were a few things he wanted to try, some of which his clones had already worked on out of curiosity, but the main thing he wanted to try was experimenting with the balance of natural energy in his chakra system. There was no established end goal, but he was curious to see how his body would react to different amounts of natural energy mixed in.

Of course, he had also learned from his time of stumbling upon the Fūton: Rasenshuriken and made sure that none of his clones were doing the same thing. If they screwed up, all that natural energy would be thrown back to him, and, while he was reasonable sure that he had enough experience manipulating natural energy that he would be able to flush the excess out of his system before it did any lasting damage, he wasn't willing to risk it.

So far, all he'd found out was that he could gather a lot of natural energy into his chakra system without mixing it into his chakra to create senjutsu chakra. It was nice to know that he had enough control over natural energy that he could keep his own energy and that of nature's separate, even when they were so close, but the moment he tried to start mixing even a small portion of natural energy with his own, the rest started to mix on its own, and he had to quickly push the excess out of his body lest he turn into a toad statue.

After ten minutes though, he couldn't help but let out a sigh. He was bored, his frustration at continuing to fail in his experiment was starting to boil over, and the presence of the two watching him without taking any action annoyed him further, most likely because they had Hokage business with him, something he had been able to avoid the past few days by leaving a few Shadow Clones in his office.

"You know I can sense you, right?" Naruto said, his eyes staying shut while he spoke. When they neither responded nor came out of hiding, he finally opened his eyes, staring at their hiding spot. It didn't take more than ten seconds for them to come out after that.

"What are you still doing here?" Naruto said, rising to his feet. They had seemed pretty emotional the last time they were in his office and the rescue of a jinchūriki in Akatsuki's hands was a rather time-sensitive matter. It had been almost three weeks since they arrived. He didn't know how long the extraction of a Bijū from a jinchūriki with so few Akatsuki members took, if it was even possible now that Nagato was dead and the Rinnegan no longer there to help 'Uchiha Madara' complete his task, but three weeks in Akatsuki's hands didn't make good odds for his fellow jinchūriki.

"We've been ordered by the Raikage to stay up," the dark-skinned male, Omoi, if Naruto remembered right.

"Your Raikage told you stay in a Hidden Village that it had once tried to kidnap one of the heiresses of a shinobi clan for breeding under the guise of a treaty signing, which resulted in the death of a diplomat that your leader attempted to use to threaten war over if we didn't hand over her father," Naruto said, his voice a drawl as he crossed his arms in front of his chest while looking at them with a raised eyebrow.

The two at least had the decency to blush at the reminder of one of their village's shadier actions. Naruto didn't believe for one second that Konoha hadn't done anything equally bad, what with Danzō and all, but at least they had the decency to hide their less good-natured actions.

Which reminded him, he really should talk to Iruka-sensei. As angry and annoyed as the man had been when he had charged into Naruto's office, the chain of command keeping him polite enough not to go into Instructor Mode and lecture him, he begrudgingly accepted the task assigned to him. The argument that Naruto was only a sixteen-year-old Genin who still thought that the Sexy and Harem Techniques were his best ninjutsu, nothing else in his repertoire had taken down a Hokage, even drawing out the closet pervert inside of his old Academy Instructor, certainly helped the man rethink his decision.

"Well, not exactly," Omoi stumbled over his words, no doubt still flustered about the mention of Kumo's treachery.

"You were ordered not to join the rescue efforts," Naruto deduced, his eyes narrowing. The Raikage's letter had mentioned that Samui, Omoi, and Karui were all students of the Raikage's jinchūriki brother, Killer Bee. The way Omoi's eyes shifted away confirmed his suspicions. Tsunade may have been kind of enough to let Naruto and Sakura pursue their old teammate, but no other Hidden Village would allow so obviously emotionally compromised shinobi on a rescue mission. Hell, Tsunade probably wouldn't have allowed it for them if Sakura hadn't been her student or she didn't see Naruto as family.

"No, we weren't," Karui said threw gritted teeth, visibly doing her best to control herself. "But that doesn't mean we can't help!"

"It's why we're staying here, going over the information you've provided us," Omoi added, sending a small nod of respect to Naruto.

He nodded in kind. He was well aware that Kumo wouldn't have given two shits for a request like this, the hostility between their villages was almost as bad as it was with Iwa, considering the Hyūga Affair. Just because Naruto hadn't known about it until he was told by Neji didn't mean that the rest of Konoha's shinobi hadn't found out. Many in Konoha were still bitter about that incident, and, while he hadn't made it public, he had researched his mother heavily, as the Sandaime had let slip that he had taken her surname, and Naruto had a bit of a grudge that Kumo had tried that shit with his own mother.

These three didn't know it, but they were lucky that he had already sworn to fulfill his late sensei's dream, sworn off the path of revenge and hatred. If he hadn't, he would have slaughtered all three of the Kumo-nin the second they entered the Hokage's Office.

He may allow the Kyūbi's dark chakra to influence him when he was using, but Jiraiya-sensei had told him that the only way it could have any effect over him was if he had a darkness of his own. He denied it vehemently at the time, as it was a too bitter a pill to swallow that he could have anything in common with the entity he was so hated for, but the man's death had made him review everything his late sensei had ever taught him, even the things he didn't want to accept.

"That's why we want to talk to you," Omoi continued.

"Me?" Naruto said, confused. He'd given them access to Konoha's information on Sasuke, including what they had gathered of his new allies, marked him in the Bingo Book. Hell, he'd even sent out a couple teams of Inuzuka and Aburame to see if they could get any clues to Akatsuki's, as they could detect the potent chakra of a Bijū, even days or weeks after its supposed to have disappeared; the Bijū weren't considered forces of nature, even amongst the shinobi population, for nothing.

"You're one of his teammates, you'd know more about how he thinks than whatever reports you have on him," Karui said, her arms shifting to her hips while she glared. It wouldn't have meant much if her right hadn't been so close to the hilt of her sword, one that he could've sworn she'd had strapped to her back when he'd first seen her.

"Well, teammates when he was still in Konoha," Omoi corrected, which only served to annoy him more than anything else. At least the guy looked vaguely apologetic, whether it was because of he was Sasuke's former teammate or for their current situation that Omoi had clearly been reluctant to involve himself in.

Instead of being annoyed, or pissed at the redhead's lack of respect of his position, which any other Kage would certainly take offense to as not even he was stupid enough to both disrespect and demand something of a Kage as these two were doing, Naruto inclined his head and looked to the sky, letting out a small sigh. It was such a nice day out, none of the Shadow Clones in his office had popped, and he had finally gotten back into the groove of training again. It figured these two just had to ruin it by making him think about his idiotic ex-teammate.

At the rate Sasuke's decision-making skills were going, Naruto might actually have to fight him seriously, intent to kill and all. The dumbass had nearly brought down war on Konoha and Naruto didn't think his new position would allow him to let Sasuke off with another warning as he did in the Valley of the End.

He could hate it, torment those who were responsible for sticking him into it, as much he wanted but Naruto wouldn't be able to look himself in the mirror if he didn't put his all into discharging the duties and responsibilities of his office. Naruto had been lucky that Sasuke hadn't killed any Konoha shinobi, it was what allowed him just that little bit of freedom to keep trying to capture the man, but the second that changed, even if it was through an indirect means, such as sparking a war with Kumo…

"Did you know I'm a host?" Naruto asked. He wasn't looking at them, but his ears could hear that telltale friction of their clothes. "Kyūbi, big ole number nine. Most of the kids younger than me don't know, or at least, they didn't before I nearly let the thing out because of Nagato, the former leader of Akatsuki."

He shifted to look at them, a tired feeling creeping into his body that not even increased flow of natural energy inside of him could counter. "But he knew. He knew, and he didn't care. He accepted that the fox and I were separate, only caring that I had access to the fox's power because of his own insecurities. Deserting the village? I could understand that, Orochimaru wasn't the type to have any qualms over handing over kinjutsu or begrudging them for wanting revenge. Killing his brother? The man killed his family and he had the right any of us do to want to revenge. But joining Akatsuki, the same organization his brother had been part of, the one that he knew was after one of the few people still alive he had once admitted to caring about?"

The two didn't know how to respond to his words, shifting uncomfortably at his prolonged stare. He wasn't sure what they saw, nor did he really care at this point. The reality of Sasuke's situation was crashing down on him, as was the fact that for at least a month longer, he was the Hokage, a position he refused to half-ass.

"I have no fucking clue what that dumbass is thinking. Don't come to me again about Sasuke," Naruto said, walking around them.

The girl, Karui, reached out as he passed her, grabbing his right arm. She was glaring at him, and her grip was rather strong, but she didn't dare attack him, couldn't afford to, neither because of the political fallout or at the possibility that, despite his young age, he really did have the power to back up his position, a real possibility as he was both a jinchūriki and a Konoha-nin, who were known for being able to churn out prodigies unusually more than the other villages.

He knew she wouldn't do anything, knew that she was hardly a threat to someone of his level, but he was tired. He was stuck with the Hokage seat, he was frustrated by his lack of progress with his little natural energy experiment, his village was still in shambles, despite Yamato-taicho driving himself into the ground and Tazuna and Inari and all the men and women they brought to help, and he'd taken to avoiding his friends because the man who wore that red and white hat didn't have friends, he had weapons.

She was just angry and frustrated shinobi who'd been sidelined from rescuing her sensei. She wasn't a threat, not even if her teammate helped her, not with the four Anbu he could feel were an inch away from beheading them, but he couldn't help himself. For the first time since nearly killing Nagato, despite his convictions to complete their deceased sensei's dream, he'd allowed the Kyūbi's rage that licked at the back of his mind get to him.

He didn't attack her, didn't make any sudden movements, didn't pull his arm away from her, or even looked in her direction. He didn't need to, not anymore, not if they weren't firmly in that S-rank category all of his enemies had recently been.

People had always thought his ability to turn people to his side, inspire them with hope, connect with them in a way no one else had, was some fluke or some work of the Kyūbi or some other crap. Fukasaku-jiji thought it was because he was The Child of Prophecy, make his enemies and those following the path of the hatred and villainy see the error of their ways or those that were drowning in hopelessness or grief were suddenly inspired to do good by him. He wasn't wrong, but he sure as hell wasn't right.

Jiraiya-sensei wasn't one of those people, he never saw him as some Child of Prophecy. The man had accepted missions time to time while they were on their trip, and he'd involve Naruto without fail. His sensei had seen him kill, had seen him steal, had seen him do all sorts of things that few in Konoha would believe he had the capacity for. It had been during one of those missions that Naruto had inadvertently confirmed a long-suspected theory of his sensei's.

_The two were sitting by a lake, relaxing after a mission had…not exactly wrong, but hit a worst-case scenario they had thought up. Jiraiya, despite his sometime flamboyant appearance and love of the theatric, was a shinobi and a hardened war veteran._

_When the man had offered a training trip to Naruto, it wasn't to give him a bunch of big, flashy moves, or make him some sort of ninjutsu expert by throwing him into nature transformation. He saw potential in Naruto, but he also someone that could be easily exploited and crushed by the horrors of the shinobi world if they weren't ready for them._

_If anyone was going to teach him horrifying lessons, ones that could break a man's heart, or worse, his mind, it would be Jiraiya, and he would do it to prepare the boy and build him back stronger than before, ensuring no one took advantage of him by doing so at a later time. It was for this reason that he had requested their last mission, or at least that type, specifically._

_Naruto had the ability to turn hardened criminals into saints, but Jiraiya knew the world just didn't work that way. Charisma and promises were cheap, a kunai to throat or poison in a man's meal could easily end the one that wielded the former while making the latter. Civilians, like that Snow Daimyō or the people in Wave, Jiraiya could believe, but shinobi? A crazed and psychotic jinchūriki in the middle of an invasion? His own teammate, a woman who'd been drinking and gambling away her sorrows for almost two decades? If he hadn't been there to see it, he would have called it bullshit, or at least one of those crazy Uchiha genjutsus, like that Shisui boy had been able to weave._

_The boy had a gift, it was clear for Jiraiya to see that, but there was something more to it, there had to be. Hardened, especially insane, shinobi don't just change their ways because some naïve brat roughs them up a bit while shouting out promises or whatever else spouted out the kid's mouth when he was doing his thing. It didn't work like that, and he needed to test it, to really see it in action._

_Most of all, Jiraiya needed to see what happened what the boy would do when he encountered someone beyond saving, or at least, someone the kid didn't see as someone worth saving. Someone, or something, that drove the kid beyond just anger or rage, but dragged out whatever darkness he'd locked away somewhere deep down in his heart._

_So, remembering the mission that made Jiraiya feel no regret over the blood he'd shed on it, he asked for a bandit extermination mission. Of course, it wasn't just any old extermination mission, this one had really stood out, had that unique tinge to it that made any decent human being want to spill blood._

" _You were just supposed to kill them," Jiraiya commented, his voice lacking judgement of any kind._

" _I know," Naruto replied blankly, his hands supporting him as leaned back casually._

" _It was supposed to be a quick in-an'-out mission. Kill the bandits swiftly, but silently, make sure they never realized we were there before it was too late," Jiraiya said, continuing to prod the blonde._

" _I know," Naruto said, this time through gritted teeth, his hands fisting the dirt and grass._

" _It was too messy, too bloody, too emotional, Naruto," Jiraiya said, his voice gaining a challenging edge as he continued to needle the blonde. "Honestly, brat, it was supposed to be a nice and easy little assassination job and you managed to screw it up. I swear, it looked a goddamn bloodbath by the time I inter-"_

" _ **I KNOW!**_ _" Naruto snarled, turning to Jiraiya, his eyes red, whisker marks thick and jagged, blooding dripping from the sharpened claws digging into his palm._

_The slit demonic eyes that now bore into Jiraiya, so different from the brilliant and naïve blue orbs that shined so brightly, were no less expressive. There was a murderous rage, a hatred so strong that Jiraiya himself was almost afraid, and not because of Kyūbi or of losing his student, but of Naruto himself._

_Surprisingly, or maybe not so surprisingly, there was no killing intent. Jiraiya had felt the Kyūbi's chakra to easily spot its malevolence, to remember a killing intent that made Jiraiya wonder how in the name of all that's holy that there existed not one man, but two, and in the same lifetime, that been able to control such a beast whose chakra alone could stop a grown man's heart with but a nary a thought._

_As curious as that was, what Jiraiya was more interested in what was there instead. There may have been no killing intent, but something else was filling the air, radiating so obviously from the blonde. Whatever it was, it cut straight into Jiraiya's heart._

" _ **They, they, those monsters,**_ _" Naruto spoke, his voice guttural and rough and so well-fitting in light of the tortured and screaming souls he'd carved into, unmindful of Jiraiya's well-hidden and silent agony, "_ _ **They didn't deserve to live, didn't deserve an easy, or silent death, not after they did to those women! I gave them exactly what they deserved, nothing less, but certainly not enough to make up for their sins!**_ _"_

_Jiraiya couldn't help but think that that stupid little theory of his had been proven true. The blonde could inspire hope in people, could make them see another path, but it was because that was the way he had seen it. He hadn't inspired hope or make them see things in a new light, his will, through sheer force of emotion, was being driven straight into their hearts. He wasn't just inspiring hope or make them see things in a new light, he was giving them his hope, he was showing them the light he saw._

_But the question was, if Naruto could make someone change their ways out of the goodness of his heart, what could he do to the people that earned his hatred? What could he do to those as monsters and villains and sinners beyond redemption, at least as are as he believed?_

_Jiraiya couldn't help a slightly amused grin, despite the darkness creeping into his vision. If he could inspire this into someone that hadn't even been the target of his ire, and a freakin' Sannin who hadn't so much as wrinkled his nose at the sight of his ex-teammate's more gruesome experiments, for the first time ever, he'd felt a bit of pity for the idiots in the red cloud pattern cloaks._

_It was with that thought that Jiraiya's eyes rolled into the back of head and he promptly passed out._

Karui's eyes, for just a moment, looked at him as if he were a rampaging Bijū before they rolled into the back of his head and she crumpled onto the ground. Omoi's face, who hadn't felt a thing, was a mix of alarm and confusion as he immediately caught his fallen teammate.

As much as Naruto wanted to apologize, to take back what he'd done, he knew it wouldn't matter. The male Kumo-nin, while definitely upset about Karui's condition, was more confused, and a little panicked, than he was angry at the blonde. While Omoi would have usually defended his teammate, the man and the girl were obviously close friends, Naruto could see that the man understood that Karui had toed the line a bit too far, and knew that if they had pulled this stunt with any other Kage, even their own, the very least they would have gotten would've been some quality time in a deep, dark cell.

After all, Hidden Villages were dictatorships, a Kage was responsible for keeping his/her shinobi in check, and their power had to be absolute and respect had to be paid, whether in blood or subservience, or people wouldn't obey.

"Feel free to stay in the village, but if you are still in the village by the time I leave for the Kage Summit, you and your team are coming with me," Naruto said to man chewing on his sucker worriedly as he kneeled on the ground, tending to his teammate. "She'll be fine when she wakes up, probably. The last person I did that to had been a Sannin, who aren't exactly all that good of a standard to work off of."

The Kumo-nin's eyes widened at that, the sucker dropping out of his mouth. "You did this to a Sannin!?"

Naruto shrugged a shoulder. "I didn't actually mean to, I sure as hell didn't target him or do it on purpose, but it knocked him out all the same, though he lasted a few seconds longer. When he woke up, he more annoyed than anything else."

Omoi's eyes widened to the point that Naruto was actually curious if his eyes would fall out. He never believed in people's eyes being able to do that, not without outside assistance, but the Kumo shinobi seemed to be making a real effort at it.

He shrugged off his thoughts before he turned and walked out of Training Ground Three.

As bad as he felt for doing that to the kunoichi, her words reminded of Sasuke's fate. He didn't believe in all that destiny hogwash, but it was easy to see that, somewhere along the line, Sasuke had fried that last little brain cell that Orochimaru's Cursed Seal hadn't yet gotten to, the one that prevented the Uchiha from becoming exactly like his brother by killing best, and possibly only, friend all those years ago.

Sasuke had joined Akatsuki, he wouldn't have gone after Kumo's Killer Bee, the last remaining jinchūriki aside from him if he hadn't. He was also a serious member, at least, serious enough to go after the Hachibi jinchūriki, as he wouldn't have done that if he wasn't at least a somewhat serious member of the terrorist group, as Naruto didn't think a guy like Uchiha Madara, or anyone crazy enough to claim to be, would allow someone to be a part-time member.

Sasuke was a part of an organization that sought to kill Naruto, nearly sparking a war between Kumo and Konoha in doing so. Naruto was the Hokage, the leader of one of the Five Great Hidden Villages, whose shinobi would certainly take offense to any and all threats targeting said leader, especially when said leader was also a now greatly revered hero. It wasn't exactly all that hard to see where that situation was headed.

Sasuke, Naruto's best friend, was going to die, either by Naruto's, Sasuke's best friend's, hands or by the shinobi whose task is to defend their Hokage, whether he wanted that defense or not.

_I really hate this piece-of-shit job._

III

All was quiet in the Hokage's Office, aside from the shuffling of papers and the scritch-scratches of a pen digging into paper. Naruto had arrived back in the Hokage's Office just when the Shadow Clones were about to start seriously discussing mutiny. His good mood of late had disappeared due to the Kumo-nin and he couldn't get his spirits up, so he figured he may as well get something done. Even if it was paperwork.

So here he was, three mind-numbing hours later, the fatigue from before seemingly settling into his bones, as he stopped his writing to shake the pen in his hand, the ink was starting to short out and he had no desire to rummage around his desk in search of fresh one.

It was vaguely worrying, he supposed, that not even the thought of seeing the look on some hapless Chūnin's face given the order to fetch a few working pens for the new Hokage brought any cheer to his mind. An act of such useless abuse of power, one that would surely be spread around and affect the Jōnin's confidence in the maturity of their sixteen-year-old Rokudaime negatively, should have had him grinning broadly, but he couldn't feel even the slightest involuntary twitch of his lip.

 _Huh, not even three full weeks for the monotony of this job to start killing my personality. I wonder if this is how Root agents feel, 'cause if they do, I really need to get Iruka-sensei to start hauling ass on that, whether to help them feel something, anything, again or to just put them out of their misery_ , Naruto thought to himself with a dull look that agitated his Anbu. He could feel their agitation, and he was glad that his childhood protectors cared so much about him that he could sense their concern in the chakra.

He'd always treated them exactly how he'd treated Sandaime-jiji or Ero-sennin, at least, before they died. He screwed with them all the time, it was great fun and it kept them on their toes, but he knew that he couldn't make them break their professional facades too much or allow them to become too lax.

He could get away with doing that with the Sandaime and Jiraiya-sensei, those two were S-rank monsters in their own right. Simply letting their guard slip a little in the Hokage Tower or while wandering around on the road wasn't something that could endanger them all that much. Their well-trained survival instincts would kick in far before anyone could get the jump on them, and few could bypass those instincts, even fewer stupid enough to even consider actually attempting to do so.

With a sigh far too reminiscent of Shikamaru for Naruto's comfort, he turned to the sheet of paper, seeing if his shaking loosened up the ink inside.

Suddenly, the firmly shut doors were shattered open, bits of wood and splinters flying through the air into the room. There was a flash of pink that hurdled through the debris, and, before he could do much more than look up from the paper in his hand, Naruto found himself hefted out of his seat, his body distorting uncomfortably against the edge of his desk, staring up into fiery emeralds that gleamed with rage.

Despite his current position, Naruto help but think, _those doors do not look cheap to replace. Insurance should cover it, but if the company doesn't want to pay, good things there's that little discretionary budget set aside for things like these._

He could vaguely hear his teammate ranting, ignoring Shizune-nee-chan, who tried halfheartedly to placate her fellow Slug Sannin apprentice. His mind, unfortunately, didn't catch a word of what was said, as it was still stuck on the shattered door.

 _Honestly,_ Naruto thought, mind still rambling, _did Baa-chan really create a budget just for 'Miscellaneous Repairs' or did she break so many things often enough that Sandaime-jiji's put aside a special budget just to clean up after her. It sure is useful what with all the wild tempers of pissed off shinobi, but it's a bit of a waste of some serious capital._

When he found himself shaken out of his thoughts, literally, by the teammate a heartbeat away from throttling him, all Naruto could fumble out in a surprisingly nonchalant manner was, "Hmm, you say something?"

The intense fury emanating from his teammate spiked even higher, her slightly tanned cheeks twitching as she stared down at him with murderous rage twinkling in her eyes. Perhaps it spoke of how stressed, overworked, and tired he was to think that she had never looked so beautiful than in that moment.

Vibrant emerald eyes so sharp and heated that they threatened to cauterize all under their gaze; messy pink hair, strands popping up this way and that way, though surprisingly not a single piece of splintered wood on her head; clothes a tad disheveled, slightly tanned skin, a bit of dirt and sweat proving that she wasn't one of those pristine dolls that most civilian girls liked to play with.

Naruto may no longer harbor intense romantic feelings for the young woman clutching his collar and boring down upon him with murder in her eyes, but in that moment, the last vestiges of a childhood crush, yet to be swept away, spiked, pulsed, a little stronger. She made for an intimidating sight, but a beautiful one that drew on heartstrings.

"Na-ru-to," Sakura enunciated through gritted teeth as her cheeks strained a tad as they stopped twitching, "Where the hell have you been?!"

The moment passed, no doubt his sanity snapped him out of it, and the heart-tugging, crush-inducing, beauty passed, leaving an infuriated teammate in its wake, one impatiently waiting for an answer.

"I've been here, mostly. There's a lot of work to be done," Naruto replied calmly, much too calmly than he usually would in a situation like this.

"And you can't spare a moment to check on Tsunade-sama, your Baa-chan?" Sakura asked, her hand fisting his collar tightened even more.

"Of course not! I have checked on her!" Naruto said, not able to prevent the indignant response leaving his lips fast enough.

"No, you haven't, Shizune and I have been at her bedside as much as possible. We would've seen you," she replied.

"As much as possible doesn't mean all the time," Naruto fired back without thinking.

Sakura's eyes narrowed as she easily deduced his implication. "You've been avoiding me?!"

"Not avoiding, just, choosing not to run into you," Naruto said weakly. He regretted his words when he saw one of her lower eyelids twitch as her eyes widened briefly.

"That's the same thing!" She shouted at him.

"I was only doing it because of the whole Sasuke thing," Naruto blurted out, wincing a little at his idiocy. Damn, he really needed a nap or a coma, which he was beginning to suspect Tsunade was selectively choosing to keep herself in. He wouldn't put it past her, nor could he really begrudge, as it seemed to be working out for her pretty well so far.

"You were the one that put him in the Bingo Book?" Sakura whispered lowly.

"I had no choice!" Naruto exclaimed, earning a look of betrayal mixed with the distinctive need to punch something or someone nearby, making him quicken his pace. "Sasuke's a part of Akatsuki for some reason and he was responsible for bringing down the Hachibi jinchūriki. Kumo wasn't all that happy about an Uchiha taking their only remaining jinchūriki, who is also the Raikage's brother!"

Sakura's grip loosened just a bit, the fire in her eyes losing some of their intensity, letting Naruto know that he was getting through to her, if only slightly.

"It was either place Sasuke in the Bingo Book as a missing-nin or risk war with Kumo. This job doesn't leave a lot of options open, not when the safety of the village is supposed to be my top priority," Naruto said in a slightly defeated tone, loosening Sakura's grip a little more. "He knows what I am, about the fox, and he still joined up with Akatsuki. I don't know what's going on in his head anymore, but I'm doing what I can to minimize the damage his actions are leaving behind. Hopefully the Raikage will be more understanding by the time of Gokage Summit, but I can't bet on that, not with the village."

Sakura's eyes sharpened once more. "The Gokage Summit? It sounds familiar."

"You've probably read about it in one of the Academy's history books. It's exactly what it sounds like, a between the five Kage. 'Cause Baa-chan's still out of it, I'll have to go in her place," Naruto replied.

"Can you take other shinobi with you?" She asked.

"We're allowed two visible guards," Naruto said, not pointing out that each Kage was sure to bring at least one squad of Anbu with them, as they are a constant presence for any Kage.

"I'm going," Sakura stated firmly, narrowed emeralds piercing into him.

"Of course, I can't not have my teammate with me," Naruto agreed with an easy grin.

"Good."

She let go of his collar, his unprepared body crashed back into his seat as she walked out of the room.

There was a moment of silence as Naruto gathered himself, rubbing his hip that was jammed uncomfortably against the edge of his desk.

"Well, at least you have one of the two shinobi you need to take with you already chosen. Now you just need to choose the other," Snake spoke.

All Naruto could do was let out a sigh. He snapped a Kage Bunshin into existence and sent it to request another door. The current one was unsalvageable, most people and things on the receiving side of his teammate's and her sensei's blows were too broken to invest the time and effort it would take to fix.

With that done, he tiredly went back to the sheet of paper still clutched in his hand. It didn't take him all that long to notice that the pen that been in his hand was missing.

"Sparrow, do you happen to know where my pen went?" Naruto asked, something that felt like hope rising in his chest.

"It was destroyed in the destruction of the door," her muffled voice responded, ruthlessly crushing his miniscule hope.

He couldn't help but think that was so on brand for her, what with crushing his hopes and dreams, not mention years of planning and effort by taking him to the Fire Daimyō where he was (mis)judged and selected to be the Rokudaime. He was wondering if crushing people's dreams was a Hyūga Clan bloodline trait that came with the Byakugan, as the Hyūga Clan Elders certainly seemed to have it, what with the seal and all.

Naruto's eyes furrowed as he glanced at his hand, very confused. "How the hell did Sakura's punch destroy my pen? It was in my freakin' hand!"

There was a short pause. "She didn't destroy it, you did."

"What. How?" Naruto asked, his head tilting as tried to understand how that was even possible, or if the Anbu were just screwing with him. The latter was more likely as he screwed them over far more than they had been able to get back at him for.

"You created a Rasengan in your hand the instant before the door broke but you cancelled it just as fast, which I assumed was because you recognized it was your hostile teammate and not a hostile enemy," Sparrow replied easily.

"So, the pen is gone?" Naruto asked redundantly, blinking he stared at his hand.

"The pen didn't stand a chance. Though, I have to admit, with my Byakugan, it was a beautiful, if terrifying, sight," Sparrow answered.

"Huh, I forgot that I could form a Rasengan that fast," Naruto commented, still staring at his hand as if it were going to bite him, before blinking and his frame drooped.

_Great, now I'm never gonna know if that pen ran out of ink or was just being a stubborn little bitch. I hate this fucking job._

Three weeks ago, he would have never imagined he'd be tearing up over a pen. Now, now he was willing to trade place with it, just to stop his mind from deteriorating any further.

"Hokage-sama, the envoy from the Land of Snow has arrived and are waiting at the gates," a Chūnin ran in announced.

"Which one?" Naruto asked.

"Uhh…the North one?" the Chūnin replied, unsurely.

"Right. I'll just send a Shadow Clone each one," Naruto said dully, easily forming ones directly in line with the Chūnin, startling him.

"Remember, smile and wave, boys, smile and wave," Naruto ordered to himself.

"Osu," They each snapped off an enthusiastic salute that contrasted heavily with the dull expression on their faces and the dull tone of their voices.

"Eh, good enough," Naruto replied, making a vague shooing motion. He was quickly left alone in the room with the hapless Chūnin, who looked vaguely uncomfortable under his military superior's dull stare who hadn't yet dismissed him.

"Er, Hokage-sama?" the Chūnin asked unsurely.

"You wouldn't happen to have a pen on you, would you?" Naruto asked.

"Um, no, I don't think so, Hokage-sama," the Chūnin replied skittishly. It would seem the rumors of Naruto's inconsistent behavior was starting to make the rounds amongst the shinobi.

 _Good, good,_ Naruto thought, a small smile making its way onto his face, one that he was well aware was freaking the Chūnin out. Just a second longer…

"Have a good day, Chūnin-san," Naruto said, a familiar serene smile gracing his features, one that had the man ignoring all manners and running out of the office, straight through the open window.

Naruto closed his eyes as he rested his head against the back of seat. After a brief moment, he frowned.

"Shit, I still need that pen."

The words that followed made a vaguely disgruntled Kakashi look towards the Hokage Tower, an unknown feeling of pride surge within him. Of course, it quickly turned to disdain when the baby in his hands started to cry once more.

"Damn you, Naruto. I have never been more proud and ashamed to call you my most prized student. If only that little shit had that inevitable breakdown after he made Chūnin instead of before. Teach an emo Uchiha a badass assassination jutsu and they don't even have the decency to use it right."

"Kakashi! Stop mouthing off to Hiru-kun! If his word is a profanity, I will resurrect Uchiha Itachi just so he can use that Sharingan genjutsu on you again!"

Kakashi looked up at the direction of Kurenai's voice, his eye wide in horror at the prospect of being submitted to that terrifying illusion once more. Worse, he would never know if it was all an illusion because of Kurenai's skill with genjutsu or if the enraged mother had actually Edo Tensei'd some poor sap into resurrecting the nightmare-inducing zombie form of Uchiha Itachi, the only thing he'd ever had in common with his wayward student.

"Hiruzen, I beg of you, please, don't swear, I'll do anything, anything, fu-fudge, I'll become the freaking Ho-," Kakashi started to say, before stopping himself, taking a moment to consider. "Okay, that last one was a lie, I'd rather be screwed mentally by Itachi than do that paperwork, but still, anything but is on the table."

Naturally, the toddler just cried in response. After a moment, Kakashi joined in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: ~10.6k - FFN Publish Date: 3/22/2018 - AO3 Publish Date: 4/18/2018
> 
> This is the last chapter already posted to the FFN story, thus this story is now officially caught up. The rest of this Author's Note is copied and pasted verbatim from the FFN chapter and is both a waste of time and kinda relevant. Feel free to skip it if you want, as always, but if I say something in a future Author's Note that you might glance over that you missed because you skipped this one, that'll be one you, though I admit that this being so goddamn long is one me. My bad.
> 
> Alright, not sure what happened during this chapter, especially considering I was sure it would have taken me at least until sometime next week for me even to start writing this. I'm aware that this didn't have as much character interaction as I hoped, but Naruto's reasoning is in there, somewhere, I think. The humor I felt was a bit lacking, but I feel like, as much as Naruto as able to screw people over for shits and giggles, he's had a serious, not to mention darker, side of him that I just haven't found really expressed all that well in most fanfictions. I think I read in another fanfiction's author's note that the canon arc for dealing with Naruto's darker side was never really explored, just sort of shuttled into that not all that great mini-arc on his time on the turtle island with Killer Bee. I don't know if Naruto's darker side coming out turned some people away, especially in the flashback, but I do have a reason for doing that, one you'll come to understand.
> 
> Also, to those who feel I may be bashing Sasuke a lot, but I'm really not. Kakashi's mutterings were more out of annoyance at the situation he's found himself and, seeing as the man has a tendency to torment himself for his previous mistakes, especially when just after he makes another one, seeing as Kakashi was depressed at the Memorial Stone when Naruto was on his training trip with Jiraiya (I think that happened), and so I took a more humorous version of it, which is definitely not what I did in the first chapter of An Unworkable Gig. Sasuke's actions and intentions were childish, and mostly insane, something he literally pointed out himself just after he announced he was sticking with his revenge shtick to Tobi.
> 
> We only really ever saw a depressed and unmotivated Naruto when Jiraiya died, or when Neji died, and those few moments in the Boruto movie where his son chews into him (I think that happened, it's been a little while seen I saw it and the main sticking points were a badass, but a little, but only a little, nerfed, Naruto and Sasuke vs Kinshiki and Momoshiki, a stressed Naruto and an angsty Boruto). I can, at the very least, say that my representation of Naruto becoming stressed and monotonous is somewhat supported by canon, as that is the only way I could possibly see Naruto, the guy who practically adopts people into a pseudo-family to make up for his lacking his own, ever neglecting his family.
> 
> Plus, while I'm not exactly a NaruHina shipper, I can admit that Himawari is utterly adorable, and the thought of the most badass Hokage to date, the one who sealed away a freaking goddess that was a casual dimension-hopper that attacked people with bones that rendered everyone, anyone, it scratched to ash, being one-hit KOed by his daughter in a moment of childish rage is the most hilarious thing I've ever seen, with the possible exception of Sakura's reaction to the fact that the male version of the Harem Technique worked on Kaguya, along with Kakashi's disbelief of one of Naruto's perverted techniques possibly saving the world.
> 
> As much as I would like to keep this fanfiction filled with humor only, the darker, more depressing, and more serious stuff is important as, while I have accepted that this fanfiction will have some crack-like moments, I don't want it to actually become a crack fic. The only way to do that is for me to add the serious and dark stuff behind exactly why and how this stuff is and can be happening.
> 
> I will continue to say that my update 'schedule' is nowhere near this fast, as I will inevitable lose steam and need time to recharge. Best-case scenario, I finish this story before that happens and I take some time off before I start/continue my other ones, or I lose interest/inspiration for this story and I take time to recharge before I finish it, and I will finish it, even if it takes me a goddamn decade to do so.
> 
> Oh, expect for the Kage Summit for next time. That should be in the next chapter, and, because of my track record with not showing as much character interaction as I wanted in my previous author's note, I will put the disclaimer that at the very least, Naruto will set off for the Kage Summit. That should be underwhelming enough that I should be able to hit that incredibly low bar I just set for myself.
> 
> As always, until next time, don't die.


End file.
